Say So
by journaliar
Summary: It feels like something in her chest is cracking wide open and letting her guts fall out onto her stupid, too expensive, shoes but she’s not exactly sure why. SamxCarly; FreddiexSam. Read and review if you'd like.
1. Chapter 1

Things are so different now.

It's the first thing that comes to mind as Carly leans back into the couch, tucking her legs underneath her, and exams the tattered old Polaroid she'd found under her heavy wooden bureau when she and Spencer moved it to make room for her new one.

She fingers the bent and ragged edges of the photo and smiles down at the image, her, Sam and Freddie, arms slung over one another's shoulder and goofy grins in place. The picture has to be nearly three years old and the three of them can't be any older than 14 years old and its weird to look at them back then and see how much they've changed. How different things are.

In the photo Carly towers over both Freddie and Sam and while Carly never really had a complex about her height, she looks at the picture and thinks maybe she should've because she's like a giant freak of nature compared to her friends. But in the past few years Sam and Freddie have both grown and now Carly and Sam are nearly eye to eye while Freddie hovers an inch or two over them.

And its so funny because Carly can clearly remember the awkward year of acne and voice changing that Freddie went through where puberty had slammed into him with all the gentleness of a runaway train but as it turned out Freddie morphed into a fairly good looking, if still somewhat nerdy, guy that, much to Sam's horror, girls actually like.

Sam's changed a lot too. All the baby fat has disappeared from her face and she had her own awkward period where she was growing so fast that her shoe size kept going up and she'd been terrified that she'd had some kind of glandular problem but after her growth spurt Sam was all long, surprisingly graceful limbs. Then suddenly Sam was all…hot and she'd cut her hair so it rested on her shoulders and after a long weekend she came to school with boobs which she named Brad and Angelina much to Carly's chagrin.

"Hey, Dollface." Carly looks up with a smile at the sound of Sam's voice as she and Freddie trudge through the front door.

"Hey, you guys are late." Carly says watching as Freddie drops down on the couch beside her while Sam lets her black and red sports bag fall to the floor next the door before flopping down on the other side of Carly.

"It's Sam's fault." Freddie blurts and Sam's totally affronted face makes Carly grin.

"Hey!" Sam barks and Carly nudges her shoulder.

"Is it?" Carly asks around a smile and Sam deflates slightly picking at her jeans awkwardly.

"Yeah but its only because I had to take the stupid history test early so I can play in the game tomorrow and Fredward here was nice enough to wait for me and be my chauffer." Sam sighs aimlessly, her head dropping back over the top of the couch and the long pale column of her throat catches Carly's attention for a long perplexing moment before she blinks and looks away.

"Why are you Sam's chauffer?" Carly asks and as soon as the question leaves her lips she knows the answer. "You lost a bet."

"I lost a bet." Carly and Freddie say simultaneously and she gives him a sympathetic look.

"Of course he lost a bet. He's Freddie. You'd think he'd learn but no, he's just like one of those lab rats that keeps trying to eat the cheese even though every time they touch it it electrocutes them." Sam chimes in with a somewhat maniacal laugh.

"Well judging from your last boyfriend it seems like you like rats so maybe I'm just your type." Freddie throws back and Sam sticks her tongue out at him but she's smiling and so is he when he does it back.

And that's different too.

Sam and Freddie still fight and bicker and nag and are sometimes physically violent with each other but now it seems a little more…playful. And sometimes Carly watches the way Freddie leans against his locker and hurls a carefully calculated insult at Sam and then waits, almost eagerly, for her to react and Carly sees the way that Sam sometimes waits outside of Freddie's chemistry class so they can walk to the lockers together, arguing the entire way and Carly isn't really sure what to make of it. She's not sure of what to make of the feeling that's almost like jealousy either.

Sometimes Carly feels like the third wheel and that's different.

"So look what I found." Carly holds up the tattered photograph with a smile and Freddie immediately groans at the image.

"I look like such a dweeb." He whines and Carly barely has time to clasp her hand over Sam's mouth before the insult leaves the other girls lips.

Sam mumbles something unintelligible against Carly's palm, letting Carly catch the probably stinging insult in her hand.

"If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." Carly's tone is deceptively sweet and her eyebrows raise slowly. "Got it?"

Sam nods once and mumbles something incoherent, glaring at a smug Freddie but she nods and Carly slowly removes her hand. There's a long beat of silence and then Sam says "You're a boob." to Freddie like she can't help herself and Carly is pretty sure she can't.

"Sam!" Carly admonishes and Sam looks at her with wide helpless blue eyes.

"I can't help it I've got a problem." Sam tries and Carly just laughs. "I need Freddie Insulters Anonymous."

"I'll say." Freddie grunts shaking his head before pushing himself up. " I need a cola." and with that he disappears into the kitchen.

Sam only shrugs before scooting closer to Carly to lean over and peer at the picture and for a moment Carly's eye line is blocked by soft, heavy curls and Carly reaches to tuck the loose strands of hair behind the other girls ear and Sam doesn't even flinch at the intimate gesture.

"Oh my God, look at you Carly Shay." Sam beams looking from Carly to the photo and back again. "Look at your chubby little cheeks I just need to pinch them." Sam all but coos in a sickening voice before she reaches out to pinch Carly's cheek.

"Stop it or die." Carly whispers with a glare and Sam stops with a laugh.

And for a moment Carly stares at Sam, at her eyes and that lazy smirk and this is different too. The way she sometimes looks at Sam, her best friend. How something in her chest rises up and flutters in her chest like it wants to escape through her mouth

"Guys, lets rehearse for the show." Freddie calls walking out of the kitchen and catches both girls attention.

"What's the rush?" Sam asks only half interested.

"My mom wants me to go get facials with her and I don't want to and if we don't hurry up my she's gonna come in here and drag me out kicking and screaming." Freddie explains in exasperation.

"I'd kinda like to see that." Sam laughs and Carly can't hold in her own laughter.

* * *

"You need a bigger bed." Sam calls from the bedroom and Carly nearly chokes on the foaming toothpaste in her mouth before she spits it into the sink and turns on the faucet to rinse her toothbrush before putting it in the holder and going back into the bedroom.

Carly walks in just as Sam is pulling on her tank top and Carly's eyes immediately fall to the pale flat skin of her stomach. "Oh, I'm sorry." Carly stutters and Sam just shrugs and ties the drawstrings on her pants.

"No biggie. So lets talk about this whole bed situation." Sam starts, yanking the blankets back off of said bed and Carly goes to the other side to help.

"You think I need a bigger one." Carly nods and Sam climbs between the sheets with a sigh.

"All I'm saying is that I spend a lot of time in this bed. A nearly_ scandalous_ amount of time in this bed, in fact, and the least you could do is upgrade to a king size."

"You know you don't _have _to sleep here. You can always sleep on the couch or maybe, I dunno, at home." Carly suggests and Sam looks at her like she's grown a second head.

"I can't sleep on the couch! I have lower lumbar problems and I can't sleep at home because my mom's deviated septum makes her snore like a dying elephant." Sam complains as Carly slips into bed beside her and Carly just smiles indulgently at her.

"You're so dramatic. Just go to sleep." Carly sighs pulling the blankets around her before turning and turning off the light and sinking the room in darkness. She feels Sam shift beside her, moving closer and stretching out on her stomach. .

"Hey, Carls?" Sam's voice is soft and quiet and Carly can barely hear her over her own breathing.

"Hmm?"

"Will you go to my game tomorrow? My mom has to work so…" Sam trails off and Carly opens her eyes to peer at Sam in the dark.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Well maybe the entire world but that's it." Carly laughs but her smile fades when Sam's cold fingers find hers.

"Thanks." Sam seems to rasp and this time its Carly who nudges forward, tentatively tangling her feet with Sam's.

"Now go to sleep, I need my beauty rest." Carly orders gently and Sam laughs.

"I think you've had more than your fair share."

* * *

The air is crisp and cold and the constant drizzle of rain isn't helping. Carly tucks herself further into her hoodie while she waits outside of the locker rooms for Sam to emerge.

The game was intense, even to Carly who doesn't care for sports in general but Sam is really good and reason enough to sit in metal stands in the middle of winter.

Sam's mom works nights and is rarely able to make it to the games so Carly comes, usually Freddie too and even Spencer sometimes and she doesn't mind that she doesn't really 'get' the game because she's never seen Sam put so much effort into something that wasn't the web show.

It's fascinating, like watching hippopotamus walk on two legs.

Soccer gives her a reason to keep her grades up and at the very least try to stay out of trouble even though, ironically enough, the coach asked her to join after she beat up Chris Wilcox in the cafeteria when he tried to take her pudding cup and after some coaxing she did.

"Hey, Superstar." Carly grins as Sam emerges from the locker room.

Sam smiles widely, readjusting the bag on her shoulder. "You came." She's dressed in track pants and jacket with the school logo on them and no hood and the rain comes down softly on her face.

"Of course I came and so did Freddie but he had to go. He had to meet his mom for their weekly bridge game but he says good game." Carly explains and there's a flicker of something that might be disappointment in Sam's eyes at her words and that alone sets off something in Carly's head. Something she's been thinking about and worrying about a lot lately.

She thinks that maybe Sam and Freddie like each other or at the very least they don't hate each other as much as they'd like everyone to think. And Carly knows that she should be relieved, happy even that Freddie and Sam can occasionally get along but instead there's something else. Something that feels like jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

"He's such a loser. How will he ever make it in life." Sam sighs using the hand that's not gripping the strap of her bag to smooth loose damp hair that has escaped from her ponytail.

"I'm sure he'll survive somehow." Carly laughs as they both start the trek back to the parking lot. "So, you played awesome tonight. You kicked the ball into the big net thingy twice." Carly gushes and Sam shrugs proudly.

"I rock." Sam grins cheekily as she and Carly walk towards the parking lot, the bright stadium lights making the slick pavement glisten.

"Yeah, you do." Carly agrees before glancing up at the grey sky. "Man, its really coming down." Carly wipes her hands over her damp face and pulls the hood of her jacket tighter. And then suddenly Sam is grabbing her hand, entwining their fingers and Carly blinks at their laced fingers stupidly. "What're you doing?"

"C'mon, lets make a run for it." Sam's grin is fierce and all Carly can do is smile back and watch the water running down the bridge of the other girls nose before Sam is running with Carly in tow and they both shriek and laugh as they sprint towards Carly's car.

In the minute it takes to get to Carly's 1966 baby blue mustang that Spencer restored for her 16th birthday, the rain is pounding on them and they both slide into the car gratefully. Heavy breathing fills the car and its mostly Carly's.

"So, when are you going to let me drive this thing?" Sam asks and Carly scoffs at the question, digging her keys out of her soaked jean pocket.

"When you pass your drivers test." Carly puts the keys in the ignition but doesn't bother starting it, just lets the radio filter low and soothing through the speakers.

"Hey, that dude failed me unfairly with his stupid clip board." Sam protests and Carly gives her a skeptical look.

"You drove up a sidewalk, Sam."

"Besides that part, my driving was flawless." Sam huffs while she stares out the window and Carly just looks at her, looks at the way her hair curls wetly behind her ears and the curve of her jaw.

"I really wish my mom could come to more of my games. Because I'm really good, ya know." Sam's voice is so low that Carly has to watch her lips move to catch every word.

"I know." Carly whispers not daring to look away from Sam, not right now. "I know."

"Carly, what would I do without you?" She asks suddenly turning to face Carly and Sam's eyes are so bright and clear. Carly just shrugs and tries to breathe when Sam uses the back of her hand to wipe away drops of water from Carly's cheek.

"I don't know." Carly croaks and Sam smiles.

"Me either."

* * *

"I'm so glad to be out of that prison they call school." Sam cries as they push through the entrance doors.

The Groovy Smoothie is unusually packed and while Carly doesn't usually condone violence, she doesn't stop Sam when she bullies a table away from some kids.

"Hey do you want the usual?" Sam asks dumping her back pack on the stool and Carly gives her a suspicious once over.

"You're buying?" Carly asks slipping onto her own stool and Sam just smirks.

"Remember that 5 bucks I borrowed from you?" Sam asks and Carly doesn't remember giving Sam five dollars which doesn't really mean that Sam didn't 'Borrow' it.

"Uh, No."

"Well, just consider us even." And with that Sam walks away disappearing into the crowd of people.

Carly is barely in her seat before a guy with dark greasy hair leans over the table and leers at her.

"Hi beautiful, I'm Chuck." He introduces and Carly frowns at the giant pimple on his forehead that's making eye contact with her.

"Hey, Chuck." Carly greets politely but unresponsively and getting hit on isn't something new for her but this guy seems to ignore the lack of interest on her part.

"You look a little lonely over here. Do you mind if I sit with you?" He asks and he's dumping Sam's bag off of the stool and sitting before Carly can even tell him she'd rather he go somewhere and die than sit next to her.

" So do you have a name?" He grins and his smile is sharp and predatory.

"No, actually I don't."

"Really, that's weird."

"Yeah, well my parents are hippies." And Carly is grateful when she spots Sam returning with two smoothies in hand. Sam gives Carly a curious look to which Carly widens her eyes in the universal sign for 'Help Me!"

"Hey, sweetheart," Sam sets the smoothies on the table and leans over to press her lips to Carly's cheek and Carly swallows hard. "Sorry that took so long."

Carly plays along looking into the other girls eyes with dramatic infatuation. "It's okay but I missed you a lot."

"Oh ,baby." Sam sighs and for a second Carly thinks that Sam might kiss her because she tilts her face towards hers and leans in real close and the way Carly's heart leaps in her chest is almost painful but instead Sam just brushes her nose against Carly's. " So, who's your friend?" Sam asks like she just noticed the jerk standing over the table as she slings her arm around Carly's waist and pulls her so close that Carly nearly falls off her stool.

"Oh, this is just Chuck. I think he's lost." Carly smiles and the guy looks a little bit confused.

"Are you lost, Chuck?" Sam asks with a glare but the guy either isn't getting the message or to dumb to know when to back off because he just watches.

"She's your girlfriend?!" Chuck squeaks out and Carly nods, combing her fingers through Sam's hair.

"Yep."

"That is so hot." Chuck whispers,

"Yeah, but you're not. So get outta here and don't come back." Sam spit's the words through a smile and the guy leans across the table.

"Or…" he begins and Sam leans across the table too and grabs the front of his shirt.

"Or else."

And Carly can't help but laugh as the guy more or less scurries away.

"So…" Sam releases Carly to sit at the other side of the table. "Not your type?"

Carly laughs, "You know, bad breath isn't really my thing." She uses her straw to mix her mango smoothie and when she looks up again Sam is still peering at her.

"What? Do I have spinach in my teeth again?"

"No. No. Sorry." Sam smiles a little just as Freddie appears through the throngs of people.

"Hey guys." He greets sitting down and dropping his bag.

"Who invited you, nerd? Sam asks idly before taking a sip of her smoothie and Freddie glares at her but otherwise ignores the comment.

"Did you hear about Jason Dean's party? It's supposed to be this huge thing with a live band and everything." Freddie pulls a bright red invitation out of his pocket. "It's next Saturday. Do you want to go?" He asks Carly all wide eyes and hope.

"That sounds cool." Sam mutters and a slow wide smile spreads almost creepily across Freddie's face.

"Sorry, Sam, but its invitation only." He says with far to much joy and Carly frowns.

"Well I didn't get an invitation either." Carly replies half distracted by Sam trying to suck a piece of unblended strawberry through her straw.

"Sure you did. It was in your locker after school." Freddie quickly grabs his bag and pulls out another invitation. "I took the liberty of getting it for you?"

"Out of my locker?" Carly questions with a raised eyebrow and Freddie turns a funny shade of pink.

"Well, yeah but it was for a good reason." He blurts and Carly only laughs as he turns back to Sam. "Either way the party is by invite only and Sam is not invited."

And Carly can almost tell what is about to happen before it does and she takes a sip from her smoothie to hide her amusement.

"Au Contraire, Fredward." Sam sighs rooting into her back pocket to pull out a crumpled yet identical bright red invitation. " Apparently it's not a party unless Sam's there." She says tossing the wad of paper across the table at Freddie.

Freddie looks almost comically shocked and confused as he uncoils the paper. "Who would voluntarily invite you to a party?" he asks in a high pitched voice that hurts Carly's ears.

"On that note, I'm out. Later Carls. I'll see you later, Nub." Sam gathers her bag and leaves and Carly watches her go before she turns back to Freddie who is holding the invitation up to the light and inspecting it for authenticity.

"You think Sam made a fake invitation?" Carly asks with a laugh and Freddie looks at her like she should no better.

"Sam once borrowed 20 bucks from me and then paid me back in counterfeit 5 dollar bills!" He exclaims looking back at the invitation. "She's an evil genius."

* * *

"Do you want to dance?"

"No thanks."

The guy with blond curly hair gives Carly the once over before shrugging and walking away. He's the third guy to come up to her and ask to dance and the third guy that Carly has politely rejected even though she's standing at the edge of the dance floor like she might want to dance but in reality she's peering through the mass of moving people watching Freddie and Sam dance. Together.

And its not as if they're slow dancing or anything but they're grinning and dancing so close that they're touching and its enough to make Carly stop and stare.

It feels like something in her chest is cracking wide open and letting her guts fall out onto her stupid, too expensive, shoes but she's not exactly sure why.

She ends up outside, and its not like Jason Dean's party isn't awesome because it is. There's a live band and its in a fancy hall and the food is great but Carly just needs the cool night air to make her heart stop pounding in her ears.

She's only outside a few minutes before Sam's voice startles her.

"What're you doing out here?" Carly jumps before pulling her arms tighter around herself.

"Nothing its just really stuffy in there. A lot of people." Carly exhales, her breath condensing in the air and then Sam is stepping closer to the other girl.

"It does kinda smell like feet in there." Sam whispers and Carly smirks, glancing at her friend and Sam looks so pretty in her blue dress. The color making her blue eyes stand out almost weirdly in the night.

"Yeah, it does. Are you having fun?" Carly asks and she doesn't mean for it to sound so bitter but if it does Sam doesn't say anything and just shrugs.

"Sure. I didn't know Freddie could bust a move like that." She laughs and when Carly just smile weakly at her her eyebrows lower in alarm. " Are you okay Carly?"

Sam's genuine concern makes Carly wince because she can't really explain what she's feeling to Sam, she can't even explain it to herself so she takes a slow breath, tries not to feel stupid and smiles stronger this time.

"You look great tonight." Carly whispers, changing the subject and Sam makes a choked snicker.

"All I've been hearing all night is how hot Carly Shay looks tonight. From everyone." Sam whispers and the sound of her scuffing her shoes on the cement is audible. "And you do, by the way."

"Thanks, Sam." Carly laughs smoothing her hands over her green dress.

"So do you wanna go back inside? There's a whole line of guys in there just waiting for the chance to dance with Carly of iCarly fame."

"I don't want to dance with them." Carly whispers a little petulantly, folding her arms over her chest.

"Will you dance with me, then?" Sam asks and when Carly glances at her the other girls eyebrows bounce suggestively. "C'mon, one dance."

Carly laughs tolerantly, "Fine. Okay."

With that Sam hooks her arm through Carly's and drags her back inside of the hall full of dancing people and blaring music.

* * *

Carly likes Saturdays because Saturdays mean lounging around and relaxing and while Carly likes to take care of business, she can appreciate a day of just lazing around . Usually she spends all of Saturday with Sam because Sam is all about lounging and Carly likes hanging out in her pajamas, watching music videos, with her best friend.

"Okay, marry, kill, bed, the lead singer of Cuddlefish, the lead singer of Yellow Day or the lead singer of The Plain White T's?" Sam asks and she's stretched out on the couch with her head in Carly's lap and Carly fingers Sam's hair absently as she mulls over the question.

"I would marry Tom Higgenson because he's dreamy." Carly starts and Sam nods in agreement, taking a bite of turkey bacon. "I would bed the lead singer of Cuddlefish because he has sexy hair and I would kill the lead singer of Yellow Day because they suck." She finishes and Sam makes a noncommittal hum before taking another bite of bacon before offering it to Carly. Without thinking Carly leans in and bites the piece of meat, her lips grazing Sam's fingers.

"What about you?" Carly asks chewing and Sam squints thoughtfully.

"I would also marry Tom Higgenson and carry his children, I would bed Drake Bell"

Carly shakes her head in amusement.

"Sam, this isn't how the game is played, you have to marry, bed, kill, one of the options. Drake Bell wasn't an option."

"Well, he should be." Sam says finishing the rest of her bacon.

"Sam." Carly chastises lightly and Sam sighs dramatically.

"So I guess killing Freddie isn't an option either." Carly glares down at Sam who cowers slightly.

"That's mean."

"Aw but you still love me." Sam says hopefully and Carly can't help but smile. "See, there go the dimples." She beams before twisting back to look at the television.

For a long moment Carly watches Sam watch television.

"So can I ask you something, Sam?" Carly asks suddenly and she really knows that she should just stop the words coming out of her mouth because this just isn't going to end well but what feels like a desperate need to know keeps her lips moving and words flowing.

"Sure Cupcake. What is it?"

"Do you…" Carly trails off unsure of how to go about the question but Sam is still doing her glassy eyed stare that she sometimes gets when she watches TV. "Are you starting to like Freddie?" Carly blurts and at first she thinks maybe Sam doesn't hear her but then the other girl pushes up into a sitting position slowly like Carly just told her that she's got a bomb strapped to her chest. "Because, I mean, lots of girls like Freddie. He's a good looking guy…" and Sam continues to just stare at her.

"You think I like Freddie?" She asks and Carly shrugs helplessly.

"I wouldn't say 'like' in the conventional sense. Maybe hate less than you use to?"

"Freddie Benson?" Sam chokes out again and it seems to Carly that she's somewhere between really angry or really nauseous.

"Yeah."

"Freddie "The Boob" Benson?"

"Yeah, even though I'm sure that's not his middle name." Carly answers, though with Freddie's mom there's no knowing what his middle name might be.

Sam continues to stare at Carly completely bewildered.

"Sam? Uh, are you okay?" Carly asks and when she waves her hand in front of Sam's face the other girl grabs her wrists and before Carly can stop her, bites her hand. Hard. "Ow!"

"You think I like Freddie?!" Sam cries watching Carly draw her wounded hand back against her chest.

"Not like, just despise less than usual." Carly tries weakly only to have Sam bite her again. "Ow, stop doing that! It's just that you two seem to be getting along lately, and you two were dancing at Jason Dean's party…"

And because Carly is sure that some higher being is getting amusement out of this, Freddie walks unannounced into the apartment.

"Hey guys." Freddie greets and Sam stands up and shoves him so hard he flies back against the closed front door. His eyes wide and confused terror.

"I hate you." Sam says before turning and stalking up the stairs.

"Ow, what did I do?" Freddie whines rubbing his chest and Carly just shakes her head and watches Sam disappear upstairs.

"Nothing, Sam's just having some issues."

" Geeze, when isn't she having issues?" Freddie asks dropping down beside Carly on the couch.

Carly thinks about going upstairs and talking to Sam but before she can make her exit Freddie says, "Aren't you gonna go talk to her?"

Then it hits Carly that even though she'd asked the question, she doesn't think she got the right answer, the answer that should make her feel better because Sam didn't technically say that she didn't, she just got angry and violent and Freddie, who claims to care so little about Sam, just asked about her well being and there's still that heavy pressure in Carly's chest.

* * *

It takes Carly three days, about a billion apologies and an entire cold cut platter but Sam eventually forgives Carly.

"Can I have your pudding cup?" Sam asks and Carly watches it disappear from her tray before she can even answer.

"Sure, why not, it's not like I wanted to enjoy delicious chocolate pudding." She sighs and Sam just shrugs yanking off the foil top.

"Yeah, you didn't look like you did." Sam mutters before looking at the pudding like she's in love with it after the first bite. "Man, this pudding is so good I want to do naughty things to it."

Carly laughs and thinks maybe it was worth having her dessert abducted just to hear Sam say that.

"Here Carly, you can have mine." Freddie says from beside Carly and Sam arches an eyebrow at him.

"And they say chivalry is dead." Carly grins taking the pudding and Freddie looks pleased with himself.

"I wish they'd say Freddie was dead." Sam insults lazily around a spork full of pudding.

"Yeah, well looking at your face makes me want to kill _myself_." Freddie grumbles.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

And then Freddie and Sam stare at each other for a long time and Carly glances back and forth confused.

"You're not dying." Sam smirks and Freddie smirks back but stays silent.

"Stop it you two." Carly scolds just as Tareen hurries over to their table in the way that she hurries to everything.

"Hey Carly, Sam, Freddie. How're you? I'm good. I just made first chair in band so that's awesome. Isn't it? Isn't it?" The girls spits her words out ridiculously fast and all three kids nod a little confused as to what exactly is happening.

"Yeah it is Tareen." Carly says and Freddie and Sam nod. "So what's up?"

"I just came over to tell you that Michael Rickman is going to ask you out today. I think during 6th period but I'm not sure. Okay, I have to go. See you later." And with that Tareen leaves as fast as she came.

"Michael Rickman? That kid in our Chemistry class is gonna ask you out?" Freddie cries and Carly can feel herself blushing.

"That guy is such a tool." Sam grumbles across the table. "You don't like him do you?"

"I don't know. The only time I've ever talked to him was to borrow his notes." Carly shrugs using her spork to push around what appears to Salisbury steak on her tray.

"I'm gonna kill him!" Freddie hisses menacingly and Sam rolls her eyes.

"Calm down nerd."

"No! No one asks Carly out, only to be rejected, but me!" He exclaims standing and Sam and Carly watch him pick up his tray and leave the table.

"Where are you going?" Carly asks.

Freddie takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders. "I need to take a walk to calm down before I do something impulsive and reckless…unless you're into that." He adds.

"Not so much." Carly informs which is kind of a lie because she sort of likes reckless and impulsive.

"Okay then."

With that he's gone and Carly just shakes her head in his wake

"So what do you think?" She asks turning to Sam who looks decidedly pensive.

"I think Rickman is a big giant tool." Sam informs helpfully.

"So you think he and I should get married?" Carly jokes and Sam brushes her bangs out of her eyes.

"No, I think you can do better." Sam whispers stabbing her spork straight through her Styrofoam tray.

"Yeah?" Carly asks swallowing hard and for some reason she's watching Sam with nearly bated breath.

"Of course. You're special kid." Sam says sincerely and when her blue eyes meets Carly's she doesn't look away.

The thunder is what draws Carly from a deep sleep and its not particularly loud or, ya know, thunderous but it wakes her because she knows that no matter what Sam says, she's sort of afraid of thunderstorms. Carly reaches across her bed searching blindly for Sam but her fingers only find the edge of the mattress.

"Sam?" Carly calls tiredly, opening her eyes and frowning at the empty side of her bed. Glancing at the alarm clock on the side of the bed that Sam had long ago designated as her own, Carly notes that its 3am.

And Carly is so tired that getting out of bed is a monumental effort but she does it and searches the third and the second floors for Sam with no luck.

She's halfway down the stairs to the first floor when she hears voice and Carly isn't really one for sneaking around and hiding, mostly because she's been told that she walks like Sasquatch. But apparently Sam and Freddie don't hear her because they don't move from where there sitting side by side on the couch, talking quietly.

Carly stays tucked behind the corner of the landing and she feels like kind of a skeeve while she tries to make out the words that they're saying but then again she doesn't move either.

Carly knows that Sam and Freddie usually film "Wake up Spencer" segments in the middle of the night and Freddie is holding a camera so she assumes that's what they were doing. The mystery of the missing Sam solved.

Carly is just about to go back to bed and when she sees Freddie lean over and, Oh dear God, kiss Sam but even more shocking than that is Sam doesn't punch Freddie in the face. She kisses him back.

And Carly just turned 17 so she's sure that the sharp throb of pain in her chest isn't a heart attack.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam kissing Freddie shouldn't make Carly upset because it has nothing to do with her and its something she wasn't even supposed to see in the first place but it does make her upset. It makes her upset and angry and inexplicably cheated and about a billion other feelings that are so tangled up that she can't tell what is what.

Carly shifts the weight of her shoulder bag as she nears her locker where Freddie and Sam are already waiting for her. She slows watching her friends interact and Carly is very aware of the new voyeuristic quality she's taken on but she doesn't dwell on it, instead she continues to watch her friends interact.

She watches the way Freddie leans his shoulder into the locker, reaching out and tugging playfully on a shoulder strap on Sam's back pack and almost shockingly Sam doesn't scratch his eyes out or even pull away, only leans towards him a little and says something around a laugh.

Carly unexpectedly yearns for the days when she had to stand between them to keep them from murdering each other.

"Hey Carls." Sam catches sight of Carly over Freddie's shoulder and the way she shoves Freddie into the lockers as she walks past him reminds Carly of better times. "You wanna grab some lunch. They have the macaroni salad that you love despite its unnatural color." Sam greets with Freddie on her heels and Carly swallows the painful gnawing feeling in her chest and smiles.

"What can I say? I have a weakness for blue macaroni salad." Sam just smiles and hooks her arm through Carly's and steers her towards the cafeteria.

"And now we will feed that weakness." Sam declares.

The lunch line is sort of long and Sam pushes her way through until they're ridiculously near the front.

"Sam, what have I said about line jumping?" Carly asks and Sam scuffs her shoe on the tiled floor like a little kid, making Carly smile.

"But its for a good cause. Macaroni salad day. I did it for you." Sam says innocently and Freddie scoffs.

"Yeah right, you get off on breaking rules and causing physical violence." Freddie points out folding his arms over his chest and Sam leans past Carly to poke him in the sternum.

"What do you know about my getting off, huh, Fredward Benson." Sam asks with a tilt of her head and the way Freddie turns bright red would be funny if it weren't for the memory of their kiss rattling around like a loose bolt in the back of Carly's skull.

And every time Carly thinks about their stupid kiss, she thinks mostly about Sam. Wonders why she would kiss Freddie, _how _could she kiss Freddie and its not because Freddie is a bad guy or a weirdo or anything. It's not like that at all, its another reason that leaves Carly feeling grasping for words.

"Guys, knock it off." Carly whispers hoarsely moving with the line in front of her and when she gets to the lunch lady she slops a spoonful of delicious macaroni salad onto her tray.

"Hey lady, load this kid up." Sam says gesturing at Carly. "She lives for this rank stuff."

The lunch lady drops another glob onto Carly's tray and Sam grins at her proudly.

"Thanks Sam." Carly laughs as they make there way towards an empty table.

They all drop down and start eating and its all so normal that Carly has the fleeting hopeful idea that maybe the kiss she saw was just a figment of her over active imagination. It _was _dark and storming and the middle of the night and maybe Carly's eyes were just playing tricks on her. But when she looks up at her friends they're arguing back and forth and Carly knows that what she saw was real.

"You okay Carly?" Sam asks and when Carly looks up from the heaven of her mountain of macaroni salad, Sam is watching her with soft, curious eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

* * *

"So I heard Michael Rickman finally found the nerve to ask you out." It's the way that Sam spit's the words out that makes Carly glance at her where she sits beside her on a bright red bean bag chair.

"Yeah, he did. After English." Carly says and Michael had been unbelievably cocky and sure of himself but his eyes were blue and mischievous so she'd accepted his offer.

"Heard you said yes too." Sam mutters quietly, flipping through the bright neon note cards in her hands and the sound of card board shuffling is loud in the empty studio.

"Why not? He's good looking and a fairly decent human being. I mean, he doesn't go around kicking puppies or anything." Carly says and Sam laughs.

"Hey, you don't know what he does in his free time. He could be a notorious puppy kicker."

"C'mon Sam, don't be like that."

"Fine," Sam relents tossing her cards into the air so they rain down around her in a downpour of neon paper. "Where is this dip wad taking you?"

"Well, _Michael_, is taking me to the concert next Friday." Carly shuffles through her cards once more before setting them aside and sliding deeper into the comfort of the bean bag chair.

She turns and looks at Sam who is just peering at her like she sometimes does, with lowered eyebrows like she's reading her. It makes a ridiculous blush burn Carly's cheeks.

"Why're you goin' out with that Nub?" Sam asks softly and Carly can hear in her voice that she's really serious. That she wants to know.

"Because he asked." Carly says simply and Sam just blinks at her for a moment. "You never know, he might be the man of my dreams." Carly laughs weakly and Sam just looks away and up at the ceiling of the studio like it as the meaning of life written on it.

Sam sighs, "Yeah. Maybe." in a way that makes Carly swallow past the tightness her voice causes.

"So, I don't think we're going to figure out anymore ideas for the web show right now. Do you want to go get something to eat?" Carly asks playing on Sam's undying love of food and Sam's eyes light up.

"Can we get burritos from that Chinese place?" She asks hopefully and even though Carly thinks that getting burritos from a Chinese place is wrong on many levels, she grins and pushes herself up out of the depths of the bean bag.

"Yes, we can."

* * *

"Wow, she is good…" Carly glances away from the soccer field and at Freddie beside her in the stands. "Do not tell her I said that." Freddie adds a breath later and Carly laughs, shaking her head.

"It's okay to say nice things about Sam, ya know. I'm pretty sure lightening isn't going to hit you or anything."

"You don't know that and besides Sam is evil." Freddie finishes as if it's a logical point and Carly nudges him with her shoulder.

"Oh, c'mon. I see you and her together. You guys have been getting on pretty good lately." Carly says and the smile that stretches her face is so forced her cheeks ache. She doesn't know why she's doing this.

She remembers vividly the look in Sam's eyes when she'd questioned her about Freddie and yet here she is, interrogating him about the same thing. The need to just know what's going on between them feels like desperation.

"In math she tied my shoelaces together and then when I tried to go to the board to answer an equation I fell on my face! On my face, in front of everyone!" Freddie cries and Carly stifles her frustration, turning back to the game and wincing as Sam and an opposing player slam into each other.

"Ouch." Freddie cringes sympathetically.

And Carly can feel the words forming in her throat and as at a complete loss to stop them so there's no preventing the words as they fly from her lips.

"I saw you and Sam kiss." Carly blurts. "With my eyes." she adds just in case and if ever there was a perfect example of complete and utter shock Carly sure it would be Freddie's face right at this moment.

Something happens on the field and the people in the stands around them cheer loudly but Carly is staring at Freddie who's mouth is opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"I…you…when…how…" Freddie chokes out and Carly immediately regrets the words and brushes her dark hair out her face.

"You know, you guys were filming Wake Up Spencer. It was late. Raining." Carly breathes and Freddie stops her with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, no, I remember. I was there. And-and you saw that?" Freddie squeaks and Carly laughs through the threat of tears.

"I did." She confirms dully and Freddie drags a hand over his head. "So what was it about? The kissing?"

"I, uh, you know its complicated." Freddie croaks shifting on the metallic bench and Carly watches him squirm before looking away at the game again.

"Complicated?" She asks and Freddie shrugs.

"Yeah."

"Are you…do you guys like each other?" Carly nearly chokes on the words and Freddie's eyebrows drop in contemplation.

"I don't know Carly. I don't know. It's just…"

"Complicated." Carly finishes for him and Freddie just nods, his eyes on the field.

There's another eruption of cheers around them and Carly focuses on the field, focusing on Sam's team jumping around her in celebration. She must've scored.

"Why didn't you guys tell me? I, mean, I thought we were all friends. I thought…" Carly trails off aimlessly.

"How am I supposed to tell my future wife that I mostly hate but sort of like someone else. Sam of all people." Freddie asks and Carly can't help the wry smile turning up her lips.

"I guess that's kind of a predicament."

"Yeah, and besides Sam didn't want to tell you." And Freddie's casual comment is like a physical blow to Carly and she quickly looks at Freddie.

"Why not?" She croaks watching Freddie rub his hands over the knees of his jeans.

"She was probably embarrassed or something." Carly pushes herself off of the bench, ignoring the people behind her telling her to sit down and slides towards the aisle, apologizing as she stumbles over peoples feet and she can hear Freddie calling her name but she needs to get away. Just go.

* * *

Carly drives. She just drives around Seattle aimlessly for a while with the radio a little too loud because she doesn't want to think. She doesn't want to think about what Freddie told her and she really doesn't want to analyze the gnawing feeling in her gut.

It's nearly 9pm when Carly makes it home and back to the apartment and when she walks in she expects to find Spencer but instead she's staring at Sam. The other girl looks up coolly from the couch, dropping the last of the peeling of her orange onto the coffee table and she must've come there straight after her game because she's only wearing her black warm up pants with a white tank top and her hair is still slicked back into a ponytail.

" 'Sup, Shay." Sam greets popping a slice of orange into her mouth and Carly shuts the apartment door with a sigh.

"Sam, what're you doing here? Where's Spence?" She asks and Sam shrugs.

"He said he was late for a date but he ran out of here with no pants on so I don't think he'll get far." She says around a mouthful of orange and when juice trickles down her chin she wipes it away with the back of her hand. "So you didn't wait for me after the game leaving me to hang out with Freddie which prompts the question…Why do you hate me?"

"Not like you mind hanging out with him." And Carly can't help but think this whole lack of brain to mouth control is getting a little old. She flinches a little when Sam peers up at her confused.

"What is that supposed to mean? You know Freddie give me hives." Carly squeezes her eyes against the sting of tears that she just spent and hour and a half driving around to get rid of.

"We're best friends right?" Carly chokes out and her voice is so strained it almost hurts coming out and Sam stands wearily, setting her orange on the table.

"Of course we are. Why're you…" Sam begins and Carly cuts her off.

"We tell each other everything. No matter what, right?"

"Always." Sam answers without blinking and Carly almost laughs, almost.

"I know you kissed Freddie." She utters quietly squinting at the space between her and Sam's feet and this time when tears come blinking doesn't make them disappear.

"Did that idiot tell you." Sam cries and Carly wipes angrily at the tears dripping from her chin.

"He's not an idiot and he didn't tell me. I saw you!" And the look on Sam's face is the same way her stomach feels.

"You saw?" Sam asks like she didn't hear but Carly knows she did otherwise she wouldn't be looking at her like she is.

"Why didn't you tell me, Sam? Do you like him? Do you?" Carly doesn't realize she's screaming until she swallows and feels the pain in her throat.

"I couldn't tell you. I just…" Sam tries weakly and Carly has to remember to breathe.

"I-I don't…You're mad." Sam whispers and Carly can't look at her because she so confused.

"You should go, Sam." Carly murmurs and Sam blinks at her like she just slapped her across the face but she doesn't say anything, just pushes past Carly, snagging her bag off of the ground before disappearing out of the apartment. The resounding slam of the door ringing in Carly's ears.

* * *

"Carly, you awake?"

"Yeah." Carly answers swallowing past the burn in her throat and just like every other time she does she remembers her fight with Sam and wants to sink lower into her bed.

"Uhm, its 12 in the afternoon and you aren't at school." Spencer begins carefully and even though Carly can't see him from beneath the blankets and pillows she's currently taking cover under, she feels him sit beside her, the mattress giving with his weight.

"I'm sick." Carly calls, her voice muffled and Spencer shifts slightly. "I'm not going."

"Sick, huh?" he asks and then he's yanking the cover away where Carly's head should presumably be but instead he just reveals her socked feet. "Huh, that's not right."

"What're you doing?" Carly asks wiggling her toes.

"Checking for a temperature." He answers pulling the blanket off of her head and Carly groans, pressing her face into the mattress while Spencer presses his hand against the side of her face. "You don't feel warm."

"I have a headache." Carly whispers and the throbbing in her temples comes from crying most of the night.

"Do you want some soup or something?" Spencer asks and Carly smiles a little into her sheets. She really does love her brother.

"No." She croaks and when she tilts her head to look at her brother she gets the urge to tell him everything, everything with Sam and Freddie and what she's feeling because she's sure the crushing feeling in her chest isn't healthy but instead she just exhales and says " hey, how did your date go?"

Spencer laughs nervously. "I did not wear pants to the date and apparently girls do not enjoy that."

"Yeah, no, not usually."

And with that Spencer pushes himself off of the bed, mussing Carly's already extreme case of bed head even more. "I'm gonna bring you some Aspirin and some tomato soup, okay?"

"Alright" Carly says and she watches Spencer leave before burying herself back beneath the blankets again.

* * *

It's been four days.

Four days since Carly confronted Sam and ruined their friendship.

Four days since she's even spoken to her.

And Carly misses Sam. Misses her so much that she can hardly even function.

She misses her so much that she can't even enjoy The Plain White T's concert that Michael Rickman has taken her to because she knows how much Sam loves The Plain White T's. She wishes that she were at the concert with Sam instead of Rickman because Sam was right, he is kind of a tool.

Carly smiles at the thought because she knows how much Sam thoroughly enjoys when she stops being polite and insults someone. Carly misses the mischievous curl of her lips and the way she lifts her right eyebrow.

Carly lets Rickman take her to Shrodder's Point and she's not sure why because his cologne is too strong in the enclosed area of his car and she really doesn't want to make out with him but she doesn't ask him to take her home either.

"So, I've wanted to take you out for a long time." He says and Carly nods courteously. "I'm glad I asked you."

"Me too." Carly says through her clenched and if she's uncomfortable Michael is far too dense to notice.

"I really like you, Carly." He says right before he kisses her and Carly winces at his mouth slamming too hard against hers but she doesn't stop him. She kisses him back.

He pulls back slowly with a grin and Carly smiles back weakly, wiping his saliva from her chin discreetly and suddenly it hits Carly why the slant of his eyes and the bluish grey color seem so familiar, welcoming. They remind her of Sam, all mischievous and wry and when he leans in to kiss her again Carly is stares into his eyes until she has no choice but to shut her own.

Things get out of control fast and while Carly isn't naïve or anything the only person she's ever fooled around with was her boyfriend last year. She didn't intend for this to happen.

She wipes the sticky warmth from her hand onto the seat cover beneath her and flinches as Michael pulls his hand from between her legs and from under her skirt.

Carly buttons her blouse quickly, wincing at the sound of Michael zipping up his pants and she feels sick and embarrassed and she really just wants to go home. God, she can't believe she did that.

"Wow." Michael exhales shakily. "I-uh…thanks."

Carly leans her head against the cool glass of the window and shuts her eyes, trying to ignore the throbbing between her legs and the nausea in her stomach.

"Just take me home. Please." Carly whispers and after a moment Michael murmurs "Okay" and starts the car.

Carly lets Michael kiss her goodnight and she's inside the apartment an hour before her 1am curfew.

"How was the concert?" Spencer asks looking up from the couch and away from the television as she walks in and shuts the door.

"It was amazing. I'm gonna grab a shower and then go to bed. I'm beat." Carly says quickly and Spencer gives her a curious once over.

"Yeah, okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

When Carly finally makes it into the shower, the water is a little too hot against her skin but she doesn't bother turning it down. Just lets it pelt down on her while she presses her forehead to the wet tiled walls and moves a shaky hand between her legs because Michael Rickman is to dumb to know how to get a girl off and his ineptitude left an almost painful throbbing low in her stomach. So she touches herself and thinks of the only good thing about Michael Rickman. His eyes.

* * *

Monday at school Carly is sure from the looks she's getting and the whispered gossip that Rickman told his stupid friends about what happened. She hears the snickers as she walks down the hall and makes her way to her locker where Freddie is waiting for her and she can't help but stare at the space where Sam usually is. And even though Sam's locker is practically right beside Carly's the other girl has done an amazing job of dodging her.

"Hey, Carly." Michael Rickman's smile is dripping with perverseness as Carly walks past him and his cronies and they all laugh when Carly glares at them. Boy she'd like to punch those idiots in the face.

"Don't listen to them." Freddie mutters as Carly walks up to him, yanking open her locker.

"So I take it you've heard." Carly grunts shoving her history book into her locker.

"Yeah, well its been going around the school." Freddie whispers holding her locker door open and Carly groans, sticking her head in her locker for a moment.

"I'm such a skunk bag!" she yells into the metal box and Freddie glances around nervously.

"I don't think that's something you should just announce like that." Freddie hisses and Carly pulls her head out of her locker to glare at him. "Sorry."

Carly shoves her head back into her locker with a sigh. "Just leave me alone, Freddie. You don't want to be seen with the school trollop."

"You're not a trollop or a skunk bag." Freddie says and Carly just groans.

She is seriously contemplating spending the rest of the day in her locker when she hears Freddie say, "Look, there's Sam." and Carly pulls her head out of the locker just in time to see Sam walk up to Michael Rickman and punch that smug smile right off of his face and if she doesn't break his nose on the first blow Carly's sure the second one does it for sure.

All hell breaks loose and there's blood everywhere and Carly and Freddie run over to the scuffle. Freddie hauls Sam backwards out of the fight but not before she lands a well aimed kick on one of Rickman's friends.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Michael screams, hands covering is gushing nose and Sam screams profanity that Carly has rarely heard her use and she would blush if she weren't trying to hold Sam back.

"Sam! Sam, stop it! C'mon." Carly cries yanking Sam backwards and away and down the hallway. Together she and Freddie wrestle Sam into an empty classroom.

"Sam, what did you do?!" Carly yells and Sam frowns at her, wiping at the blood streaming down her chin with the heal of her hand. She must've split her lip in the scuffle.

"Haven't you heard what that jack ass has been saying about you?" She asks incredulously and Carly watches Sam flex her fingers absently, her knuckles smeared red with blood from Rickman's nose.

"Yeah, I have but you're gonna get suspended Sam and if you don't get kicked off the soccer team then at very least you'll be suspended from that too." Carly croaks and Freddie uses the silence that follows as an opportunity to scurry out of the room. Carly watches him go but she can feel Sam staring at her.

"I don't care!" Sam cries. "He can't just-just spread lies like that…" She chokes out and she's so angry that Carly is almost afraid to tell her the truth.

"It's not a lie." Carly whispers and Sam just blinks at her, her chest heaving like she's just run a marathon. "It's not a lie." Carly repeats staring into the other girls cloudy eyes.

Sam wipes at the blood on her chin again with a humorless laugh that sounds _painful _before turning and almost yanking the class room door off of its hinges as she leaves.

* * *

"How long is she suspended?" Carly asks sinking into the couch beside Freddie, chewing gloomily on a banana.

"A week and she won't be able to play in the next three games either." Freddie sighs flipping through the channels aimlessly.

"When you talked to her was she mad?" Carly asks nervously and Freddie glances at her, shrugging a shoulder.

"You know, she's Sam. She acted like it was no big deal." And of course that's how Sam reacted because when she's hurt, she acts as if she isn't.

"Yeah." Carly mutters taking another bite of banana and she nearly chokes on it when someone pounds on the front door.

"Wha-" Freddie starts and the door is flying open and Sam is charging in and Carly has never figured out why Sam bothers knocking.

"Sam." Carly yelps standing.

"Freddie, beat it." Sam orders and Carly can't tell if its Sam is angry or just hurried or what but because of whatever it is she's flushed and brilliant and Carly can't stop staring open mouthed at her.

"I, uh…" Freddie starts glancing at Carly and she nods once.

"Get lost Freddie or face the consequence." Sam threatens and Freddie jumps off the couch quickly, the remote clattering noisily to the floor.

"Alright, I'll just let you two work this out." Freddie mumbles and then he's gone so its just Sam and Carly staring at each other in the middle of the living room.

"I told you not to go out with that tool." Sam barks and of all the things to say now Sam's choice makes Carly want to laugh. "I told you he was a jerk. Why would you…how could you go out with that douche bag?" Sam asks licking at her split bottom lip while she peers at Carly.

Because she wanted to. Because he was cute. Because. Because. Because. Carly should have a million logical reasons that she would want to go out with a good looking, popular, jack ass but the only one she can think of is "Because you kissed Freddie." So she says it because it's the only real reason.

And Sam makes squeezes her eyes shut and rubs her eyes in complete frustration and Carly realizes that she isn't helping. "Do you like Freddie?" Sam asks from behind her hands and Carly shakes her head.

"No, its not that. It's…It's…" Carly trails off grasping for the thing that she needs to connect Sam and Freddie kissing to her choice to go out with Rickman.

"You're hurting my head." Sam croaks licking her lip again and the wound stands out brilliant red on her face.

"I'm sorry." Carly mutters.

"Are you mad at me for kissing Freddie?" Sam asks swallowing audibly and Carly shakes her head because what she feels isn't anger.

"Then what…" Sam stops for a second. "You hang out with Freddie."

"What?" Carly asks and she's lost for a moment, folding her arms over her chest. "I don't…"

"Me _and _Freddie kissed and you've treated me like something on the bottom of your shoe and you still hung out with Freddie. And you just left me." Sam ends hoarsely and the way she's gazing at Carly makes Carly squirm and she can't even answer that one.

"I was hurt, Sam. I was hurt that you couldn't tell me." Carly tries to explain and Sam steps closer, her high tops squeaking on the hardwood floor.

"Of course I couldn't tell you." She says, eyebrows knit together and Carly takes a deep slow breath.

"Why not?" she asks quietly and Sam just shakes her head.

"So what Rickman said you and he did at Shrodder's Point? That's all true?" Sam asks completely jumping subjects again and Carly struggles to keep up.

"Yeah, mostly." Carly admits with a blush.

"Mostly?"

"Yeah, he's not as gifted in the dexterity department as he'd like everyone to think." Carly laughs wryly and Sam laughs hard once before running both hands through her loose hair.

"So it was okay that I broke his nose." Sam sighs and Carly nods, fiddling with the hem of her blouse.

"Yeah." Carly glances down at Sam's bruised hand and the other girls makes a fist absently.

"I'm sorry, Carly. For not telling you about me and Freddie. It's just that it's Freddie, ya know?" Sam whispers and Carly nods.

"I'm sorry I acted the way I did. Friends?" Carly asks and Sam gives her a lopsided smile.

"The best of." She murmurs and Carly feels a smile bloom on her own face.

"Alright, I gotta go. I snuck out the window and I'm already grounded for the next month. Don't worry about iCarly though, I'll figure out a way to do it." Sam whispers and Carly nods.

"Okay. Alright."

And Carly watches Sam turn to the door and grab the door knob.

"Hey Sam?" She calls and when Sam turns Carly hugs her, probably too tight and too long but Sam just hugs her back.

"I'll see you later, Kid." Sam grins pulling back and Carly watches her go and the perpetual tightness in her chest eases up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Do my boobs look bigger?"

Carly frowns at Sam's reflection in the dresser mirror from the foot of the bed as the other girl pushes her chest out experimentally, staring at her own torso.

"Uh, no?" Carly answers flipping aimlessly through the novel she's supposed to read for English and there's no way she's going to finish The Great Gatsby tonight.

"Because my mom's sister-"

"The one with the iguanas?"

"No, the one with the drinking problem."

"Oh, okay."

"Well she has these enormous boobs and I hear that kind of thing is genetic." Sam explains arching her back again and Carly grins a little bit.

"And you're afraid that big huge boobs are written into your DNA?" Carly asks flipping the through the pages of the book again and Sam glances at her over her shoulder.

"If you saw her boobs you'd have concerns too." Sam deadpans before turning back to the mirror and examining her boobs some more and Carly doesn't let her eyes focus on the way Sam's shirt pulls across her chest.

It's the first time since their fight that Sam and Carly have actually hung out, just the two of them, and Carly really missed this. Missed her friend.

She watches Sam evaluate the size of her boobs one last time before the other girl picks up one of the many lip glosses on Carly's bureau.

"Well I think you should keep your eye on it because you have like, a better perspective to see if my boobs are getting bigger." Sam reasons and Carly laughs.

"Yeah, I will do that."

"Why do you have so many of these things?" Sam asks holding up a lip gloss and Carly just shrugs finally tossing her book onto the floor.

"Because I'm a girl?" Carly tries leaning back on her hands and Sam makes a shocked noise.

"Wait! Hold everything! You're a chick?! Wow, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this new information."

Carly sighs, shaking her head. "Shut up."

And Carly can't help but be in awe at Sam sometimes because she's all bright and flaring personality and its so hard to look away when Sam is grinning and joking so she doesn't.

Sam reflection beams at her before she opens one of the tubes of lip gloss and uses the wand to smear the pinkish sticky goop on her lips.

"So can we talk?" Carly asks watching Sam lick her lips, frown, then squint down at the tube in her hand.

"That doesn't taste like strawberries." She says in confusion and Carly raises an eyebrow.

"Well you're not supposed to eat it."

"Isn't the purpose of gloss to make people want to kiss you? What's the point if when they actually do its gross." Sam asks closing the tube and Carly makes an exasperated sound. "Okay, okay, sorry. Lets talk."

"What's going on with you and Freddie?" Carly asks and in the mirror she watches Sam's eyes drop quickly, her hands moving over the collection of lip glosses absently. "If you don't want to tell me, I understand."

"No, its cool." Sam swallows and Carly digs her toes into the floor more anxiously than she'd like. "Uhm, as you know I loathe Freddie and every nerdy thing he stands for." Sam begins and if it didn't look like Sam was going to be sick Carly would laugh.

"But lately he hasn't been as nerdy or as weird looking as usual and when we hang out I feel the need to physically harm him less and less. I just…he's not awful. We're not going out or anything like that, though." Sam finishes turning around and leaning against the dresser thoughtfully. "Does it make you upset?"

Carly falls backwards on the bed with a sigh, keeping her toes in contact with the floor. "It's a little weird. Actually it's a lot weird." Carly mumbles digging her fingers into the boney spot between her eyebrows and she can't help but be in astonishment at how big of an understatement 'weird' is.

"You're telling me." Sam sighs and Carly listens to her move around the room, scooping up her discarded book before stretching out beside Carly on the bed so they're lying head to toe. "Is this any good?" Sam asks kicking her feet up against the headboard and opening the book.

"It's okay. Lots of symbolism. You should read it." Carly whispers, ignoring Sam's immediate claim that she can't read and craning her neck to look at her friend but all she can see is the cover of the book shielding Sam's face and skin. Pale white skin where the hem of Sam's shirt and the waist of her jeans have lost contact and left a band of abdomen exposed.

"So was the night I saw you guys kiss the only time or…" Carly trails off looking up at the ceiling of her room.

"That was the first time but not the only time." The sound of Sam tossing the book back onto the floor is loud in the room.

"Is he a good kisser?" Carly asks and she feels Sam shrugs.

"He's okay, I guess." Sam sighs and then Carly nearly jumps out of her skin when the other girl twists onto her side, propping herself up with an elbow and uses her free hand to touch her stomach. And Carly's own shirt has ridden up to show off her stomach and now Sam's index finger is sliding across her skin.

"You've got freckles everywhere." Sam whispers and Carl squeezes her eyes and concentrates on how everything inside of her is tightens while Sam plays connect the dots with her freckles.

"What-what're you doing?" Carly croaks twisting the blanket beneath her in her hand.

"It's like a giraffe, ya know? With a head and a long neck and four long legs. A giraffe or a stretched out horse." Sam grins still tracing a shape on the other girls abdomen while she glances at Carly who's eyes flutter open.

"A stretched out horse?" Carly laughs covering her breathlessness and Sam nods scooting along the mattress until her head is right beside Carly's.

"They're very rarely seen in nature."

And Carly can't help but stare at Sam's mouth, because they're faces are pointed in different directions but mostly because Sam's still wearing that ridiculous lip gloss and when she exhales it smells like artificial strawberry.

"I missed you, ya know." Sam says softly, tucking her hands under her cheek and Carly mimics the motion, eyes flickering over Sam's sticky shiny bottom lip.

"I missed you too. It was so weird, not being in trouble and having food in the house." Carly jokes and Sam raises both eyebrows.

"So what you're saying is that I spice up your otherwise very boring life."

"Feel free to interpret it that way."

And when Sam laughs again Carly finds herself gazing at Sam's lips some more and it suddenly hits Carly that Sam was right about the intended purpose of lip gloss because she thinks she wants to kiss Sam.

* * *

She thinks she wants to kiss Sam. Its been three days since the night in Carly's bedroom but the thought still swirls in the back of her head like white smoke that won't dissipate.

And its confusing because Carly doesn't know what wanting to kiss her best friend means.

She wants to blame it on Sam because Sam, who is abrasive and aggressive and generally violent, acts different with Carly. Softer and caring like she just wants to please Carly even when Carly already loves her the way she is.

But then it might be because she's gay or bisexual or something because even though she likes guys she might like girls too.

Not in the same way that she thinks guys are cute, in that chiseled features and great hair way but in the way that she feels it whenever Sam unceremoniously touches her or the way she wants to be the center of Sam's attention.

In the way that she hates, loathes, can't bear that Sam and Freddie are doing whatever it is that they're doing.

In either condition, these feelings that are emerging and making themselves known are terrifying and Carly would ignore them if she could. But like most things in life, its easier said than done.

The sun is shining blindingly as Carly makes her way towards the soccer field, the sign that reads "Go, Puckett." in red and black letters, rolled up in her hand. And she's running a little late to meet Sam and Freddie before Sam's first game back from her suspension for breaking Michael Rickman's nose.

They're supposed to meet behind the gymnasium and when Carly rounds the corner she nearly drops her sign. Sam and Freddie are in their designated meeting place but Sam is sandwiched between the wall and Freddie and they're kissing. Like really kissing.

And Carly is sort of frozen in spot watching the way Sam's hands clutch at Freddie's shoulders and his hands settle on her waist. She doesn't know whether she should leave and give in to the overwhelming urge to vomit or make her presence known but in the end the choice is made fore her when a couple of guys walk by hooting at them and Sam and Freddie pull apart quickly.

Sam's eyes meet Carly's over Freddie's shoulder and then she's shoving Freddie away, hard.

"Hey, Carls." She greets softly and Carly tries to blink away whatever is in her eyes that makes Sam look at her like that. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine. It's fine." Carly mutters even though its really not.

"She made me kiss her!" Freddie cries and Sam glares at him.

"Well you didn't look like you were fighting it." Carly points out wryly and before Freddie can say anything Sam is butting in, looking at the poster in Carly's hand.

"What's that?" She asks with a raised eyebrow and Carly swallows before smiling proudly.

"This," She begins unrolling the poster " is the awesome poster I made for you."

And the way that Sam's eyes light up makes staying up an extra and a half to finish the poster totally worth it.

"Wow, that's really cool." Freddie chimes in and for the first time Carly notices that Sam's sports bag is slung across his chest.

"Yeah, its awesome." Sam squeals and when she hugs the other girl Carly's fingers curl into the material of her warm up jacket. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Carly laughs and Sam smells like the citrus gel she uses to slick her hair back for soccer. Carly's never told Sam how much she loves her hair like that because she can really see her.

"Oh wait, I have something for you too." Sam says suddenly pulling away and she turns, reaching into the bag Freddie is holding and pulls out a red face painting pen. She flashes it at Carly with a grin before stepping so close to Carly that she has no choice but to look at Sam.

"Hold still." Sam murmurs and she tilts Carly's face, pulling the cap off with her teeth and Carly winces when the wet pen tip touches her cheek. After a few seconds Sam pulls away with a grin.

"There, now everyone will know that you're with me." Sam murmurs with a smile and Carly can feel a smile tug at her lips as Sam tucks a fly away hair behind Carly's ear.

"What did you put? Property of Sam?" Carly asks as Sam steps away.

"No, just my number but your idea is way better." Sam laughs and Carly shakes her head as Sam turns to Freddie, pulling on his collar to make him lean down a little. "Now you, Freddie."

"What're you writing." Freddie asks and fear rightfully laces his voice as Sam writes on his forehead too.

"You'll see." Sam grins, glancing back at Carly who can't stifle a giggle as Sam scribbles 'Loser' on his face.

Carly traces the number 25 Sam has painted onto her cheek while Sam caps the pen, shoving it into her bag after pulling it off of Freddie.

"Alright kids. I'm gonna go get ready. I'll see you guys after?" Sam asks, her eyes bouncing between Freddie and Carly and they both nod.

"Sure."

"Yeah."

Carly turns to Freddie as Sam walks away, raising an eyebrow.

"She wrote loser on my forehead, didn't she?" Freddie breathes watching Sam walk away and Carly nods sympathetically.

"Yes. Yes she did."

"Aw, man." Freddie cries rubbing his hand on his forehead, smearing the paint. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

"Yeah, I'll meet you in the stands."

* * *

"Spencer can I ask you a question?" Carly asks watching her older brother try to put together the bookcase he just bought. Different size wood planks litter the floor and Spencer sits in the middle of it, frowning at the directions.

"Does it have to do with Canadian history?" He asks suspiciously and Carly gives him a look.

"Uh, no."

"Alright then."

"How do you know if you like someone?" She asks carefully and Spencer looks up at her with a grin.

"You like someone?"

"I don't know." she sighs, folding her legs beneath her on the couch and Spencer picks up a plank of wood.

"Well when I like someone I think about the person all of the time. I always wonder what they're doing. If they're wondering what I'm doing. I get butterflies in my stomach that feels like their on steroids. You know, just stuff like that." Spencer finishes flipping the board over and over in his hands, confused. "Is this piece A or B?"

"And when you feel like that it always means you like the person?" Carly asks hopefully and Spencer laughs.

"Yeah, usually."

Carly uses both hands to tuck her hair behind her ears. This is not good because according to Spencer's definition she likes Sam which can't be right because its Sam. Sam. Sam who she's known since they were little kids. Sam who she's seen throw up after eating way too much cotton candy and who she's heard profess her undying love to a pork chop.

"No." Carly cries and Spencer jumps, fumbling the piece of wood.

"What?!" Spencer cries too.

"What if you can't like that person. What if it doesn't make sense. What if…" Carly trails off breathlessly and Spencer eyes her carefully.

"A great man once said the heart wants what it wants, Carls and do you know who that man was? Albert Einstein." Spencer says profoundly and Carly frowns.

"No it wasn't." she sighs "And besides, what do hearts know about what they want? They don't have brains. They can't want. They're hearts!" And with that Carly pushes herself off of the couch.

"Thanks for the help, Spence." Carly throws over her shoulder as she heads upstairs.

"You're welcome. I'm glad I could help…I think."

* * *

Carly can't like Sam. She can't like Sam because Sam is her best friend and Sam likes Freddie, no matter what she says, and Carly isn't gay. She just isn't, she can't be. And its Sam for God's sake.

So, Carly thinks maybe it's a phase. Maybe its something that she'll work through and get over and then come out of it completely unscathed, straight and with a best friend.

She's just going to stop thinking about Sam that way.

"Ditch class with me." Carly shuts the door of her locker to frown at a hopeful looking Sam.

"No." She says without thinking because she and Sam go through this exchange at least two times a week.

"C'mon Carls." Sam whines and Carly gives her a suspicious look.

"What're you trying to get out of?"

"You're accusations offend me." Sam scoffs and Carly folds her arms over her chest patiently. "Alright fine, a math quiz."

"You didn't study?" Carly asks stupidly because she's talking to Sam here.

"You do know who you're talking to right?" She asks dropping her eyebrows and Carly just laughs. "So, c'mon. Lets get outta here."

"Sam, we have to go to class." Carly tries and Sam leans into the locker, sliding to the floor dramatically.

"But I'm tired of learning." Sam moans from the ground and Carly glances around the hall at the people giving them funny looks.

"Sam, get up." Carly hisses and Sam just closes her eyes and sticks out her tongue for effect. "Sam!" And then Carly is reaching down and grabbing a fistful of Sam's hair.

Carly really likes Sam's hair because it's blond and the ends curl into perfect spirals and its adorable and almost astonishingly deceptive.

"Ow! Hair! Hair!" Sam yelps as Carly pulls upwards on her hair and forces her to her feet.

"Okay?" Carly asks and Sam rubs her head with a grimace.

"You pull my hair so much it makes me think you've got a fetish or something" Sam grins straightening her hair and Carly tries to ignore the blush forming in her cheeks.

"You make me pull your hair so much that it makes me think you're the one that's into it." Carly shoots back and Sam just shrugs slightly.

"Oh yeah." Sam asks leaning her shoulder into the locker and the way she's looking at Carly makes her stomach flutter.

"Yeah." Carly chokes out and she realizes that playing the sexual innuendo game with Sam probably isn't helping the whole, not liking Sam thing.

Suddenly the bell is ringing and before Carly can even negotiate Sam into going to class the other girl is grabbing her by the hand and hauling her towards freedom.

"I didn't say I would ditch with you." Carly whispers as she and Sam hide behind a row of lockers while they wait for the security guard to walk down the hall that's the route to their escape.

"Shhh. Shhh." Sam whispers pressing close to the other girl and covering her mouth with a hand. "Shut up."

And Carly seriously doubts that she could say anything because Sam is pressed ridiculously close to her and when she exhales her breath is sugary and sweet, like gummy bears.

The sound of footsteps die down the corridor and Sam's eyes that had been focused on the security guard now lock onto Carly's.

"Let's go." Sam whispers, removing her hand and lacing her fingers with Carly's before dragging her out of the school.

They end up in a park where business men spend their lunch breaks sitting on benches feeding the birds.

"Why didn't you invite Freddie?" Carly asks licking her ice cream cone idly while she stares down at Sam, stretched out on her back on the blanket Carly found in the trunk of her car. The sun is bright and warm today and Sam shields her eyes, looking up at Carly.

"Because he's a dork and if I made him ditch class I'm sure his funny shaped head would explode." Sam laughs turning her head to the side. "And besides, I would much rather waste my time with you."

"Well most girls would want to waste time with the guy their making out with." Carly points out helpfully and Sam just laughs.

"You and I both know that I'm not most girls."

Carly watches Sam roll onto her stomach with a grunt and can't help but think that truer words have never been spoken.

The ice cream in her hand is melting faster than Carly can eat it and she licks at the strawberry mess oozing between her fingers.

"So what do you want to do this weekend?" Carly asks wiping her hand on her jeans and when Sam doesn't answer she half expects her to be asleep but when she glances at the other girl Sam's watching her with an unreadable expression. "Sam?"

And Sam blinks like she's coming back to herself before burying her face in the cradle of her arms.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Sam asks, her voice muffled by her arms.

"We could work on the science project that's due in two-" Carly is cut off by the sound of Sam snoring loud and dramatic and Carly uses her foot to kick the other girl. "Fine, do you have a better idea?"

"Lets go to a party. I hear there's one on Saturday." Sam says propping her chin on her arm.

"Where is it?" Carly asks biting into the cone of her ice cream and she notices the way Sam's eyes hover over her mouth so she wipes at her lips self consciously.

"I don't know."

"Well, who's party is it?"

"I don't know that either." Sam admits and Carly shakes her head, finishing her ice cream cone.

"I dunno Sam."

"No, yeah, it'll be great." Sam says sitting up, "You can be my date."

And Carly has to stop herself from dissecting Sam's statement and instead says "What about Freddie?"

"He can be our driver."

* * *

"You guys are wasted." Carly knows that Freddie's complete and utter exasperation shouldn't be so funny but she drank a lot of the fruity, alcohol saturated punch floating around the party and she's spent most of the night with her fingers laced with Sam's so they wouldn't loose one another in the massive, crowded house party and she can't help but giggle.

Her drunken giggles set off Sam's hysterical laughter and Freddie's frustrated grumble as he leads them from the still going party only makes it worse.

"We are not." Sam denies with a grin and Freddie gives her a withering look and Carly understands because a drunk Sam is an maddening Sam. Even more so than normal.

Carly feels warm and bubbly and the cool night air is nice against her face. And Carly had every intention of coming to this party and having a good time and dancing with different guys and maybe hooking up with one if she liked him.

Most importantly she was going to ignore this whole liking Sam thing. But of course Carly's stupid drunk brain hadn't gotten the message and she'd spent most of the night dancing with Sam and staring at the pink blush the alcohol put in her cheeks.

Freddie hooks his hand into Sam's and Sam's fingers tighten around Carly's as he leads them across the residential street to where his jeep is parked against the curb and Carly stares dumbly at the point of contact between Sam and Freddie.

"I forgot my phone." Freddie says after the reach the car and Carly leans her forehead against the cool metal of the vehicle. "Here, get in the car. I'm gonna run in and get it." Freddie instructs unlocking the back door and opening it.

"Good idea, Freddie." Sam laughs and Carly laughs a little too against the car.

"Lock the doors and don't let anyone in." He says and then he's jogging back across the street. Carly listens to Sam move closer, here sneakers scuffing on the gravel.

"You okay, Cupcake?" Sam asks softly, stepping so close behind Carly that she can feel the heat radiating from her.

"Things are spinning. Its all…spinny." Carly mutters and Sam makes a sympathetic sound before fumbling the car door open and then she's sliding inside before basically hauling Carly in after her and shutting the door.

Carly leans her head back against the seat, listening to Sam lock the doors before settling in the seat too.

"I'm so drunk." Carly giggles and Sam laughs too and they're pressed ridiculously close in the backseat and Carly isn't sure if she's the one crowding Sam or vice versa but Sam's not moving so neither is she.

"So, Tyler Hamburg asked me to give you this." Sam sighs, digging into the pocket of her jeans and pulling out a slip of paper with a phone number scribbled on it. "He wants you to call him." She says handing over the paper and Carly frowns at the numbers.

"Why're you giving me this?"

"So you and Tyler can go out, get married, and have adorable babies." Sam explains easily and Carly crumbles up the number in one hand.

"Whatever." Carly whispers and she giggles a little as Sam leans into her.

"Your hair smells good. It always smells good." And Sam voice is drowsy in her ear.

"Well, I take care of it…my hair." Carly enlightens and Sam chuckles.

"I can tell. It's very nice." Sam says and then she's reaching up and sliding her fingertips into Carly's hair and her touch is like a shock so strong that pounding fills Carly's ears.

"Sam." Carly whispers closing her eyes and tilting her face towards the other girl until she can feel her breath fanning gently across her face.

And its there again, the urge to just lean forward and kiss Sam and no matter how many deep breaths Carly drags in, the feeling just wells higher and higher.

Now, even though its too late, Carly wants to kick herself for drinking, for letting Sam lead her to the middle of the floor before grabbing her hips and pulling them flush against hers while they danced, she regrets coming to this stupid but awesome party because it feels like she's loosing control.

"Are you, okay." Sam asks softly and now her small fingers are twisting the ends of her hair and Carly wants to just say 'yes'.

She wants to say that she's a drunk but she's okay, she's okay with the whole Sam and Freddie thing, that she's okay with what she feels for Sam and she's just okay. But alcohol makes the truth come out.

"You kiss Freddie." She blurts opening her eyes and Sam looks justifiably bewildered. "You kiss Freddie and I can't…I don't…" Carly trails off.

"Carly? What?" Sam asks puzzled and Carly wants to smooth the frown between her eyebrows but she doubts she has the hand eye coordination necessary.

"You kiss Freddie." Carly tries again and Sam searches her face with bright, glass eyes, "and I can't handle it. I-I can't take it." Carly says laughing inexplicably.

Sam exhales shakily, "Oh."

"I'm sorry. I'm so stupid." Carly swallows dropping her chin and scrubbing her hands over her eyes. "So stupid."

"No, you…" Sam whispers, "You're not stupid."

Then there's silence that stretches into forever and when Carly finds the courage to look up at Sam, she's just staring at her.

"I'll stop." Sam whispers brokenly and Carly tries to stop the expanding feeling again because it feels like she'll burst at the seams at any moment. "If you want me to."

And now Carly is the one reaching out tentatively and leaning forward, hands on the soft skin of Sam's neck and she's never kissed a girl before, never even thought about it until recently but she really wants to kiss this girl.

Sam's hands clutch at her knees and Carly's sure if she weren't full of liquid courage she wouldn't be doing this but she is and her nose is brushing against Sam's and she's licking her lips nervously.

Carly's thumbs press into the curve of Sam's jaw and her heart is in her esophagus and Sam's breathing so hard and then suddenly, so sharply its almost painful, Sam is jerking away.

Carly blinks stupidly at the other girl , her hands literally grasping at air but then the driver's side door is opening and Freddie is sliding in and it all makes sense.

"Did one of you throw up?" Freddie asks and Sam glances at Carly out of the corner of her eye, tucking her hands between her knees absently.

"Don't worry. We didn't ruin your precious little car." Sam croaks and Carly forces herself to look away from Sam and out the window as stone cold sober Freddie drives them home.


	4. Chapter 4

"What era marked a time of economic growth for the United States? Carly?"

Carly looks up at Mr. Mulroney who is watching her owlishly through his black, thick glasses and Carly really wishes that she were paying attention so she wouldn't be frozen like a deer caught in headlights like she is now. But most of her head space has been occupied by what happened and what didn't happen with Sam in the backseat of Freddie's jeep.

And even though Carly had been so drunk that she'd spent most of Saturday morning throwing up, there's no way she could forget the look in Sam's eyes and the way she was breathing or anything else for that matter.

"I, uhm, the Progressive era?" Carly answers hesitantly, flipping through her notes quickly.

"Correct." Mr. Mulroney nods, turning back to the black board and writing. "Now…" He begins again and Carly tunes him out.

She wonders what Sam thinks of that night, if its all she could think about all weekend like her, if she even remembers it because Sam had been drunk too.

Honestly Carly is terrified because she hasn't seen Sam all weekend and she doesn't know if its because she's avoiding her. She's terrified because in that backseat she'd had every intention of kissing Sam, she'd really really wanted to and Sam hadn't pulled away screaming either.

Suddenly the back door to the classroom eases open and Carly knows that its Sam without looking because Sam's constant first period tardiness is legendary but of course she looks because she can't help herself.

Sam eases the door shut behind her before slipping into her chair behind Carly and before Carly can even make eye contact with her Mr. Mulroney is calling the other girls name.

"Sam?" He asks and Sam freezes in removing her back pack.

"Eddie?" She answers and Mr. Mulroney frowns, arms folding over his chest. "Sorry. Yes, Mr. Mulroney?"

"What time does first period start?" He asks walking down the aisle towards Sam and the kids all turn in their seats to watch.

"Uh, 8:45?" Sam says hopefully and the class snickers quietly.

"First period starts at 8:15, Ms. Puckett. So join me in detention after school today and I'll teach you how to read a clock." Mr. Mulroney says turning back to the front of the class.

"Aw, C'mon Eddie. Don't be like that." Sam tries and Mr. Mulroney spins on his heel.

"Okay fine. Answer this question and I won't give you detention."

"Okay." Sam grins leaning forward in her chair and its all confidence.

"The first confirmed landing in the continental US was by who in 1513?" Mr. Mulroney asks and Sam's grin fades as she deflates.

"I'll see you after school." Sam groans and Mr. Mulroney turns back to the classroom.

"Eyes up here everyone." He yells, tapping his chalk on the chalkboard and Carly twists back around in her seat but she can't help glancing over her shoulder at Sam who meets her eyes quickly before looking away and if Carly ever questioned if Sam remembered that night in the car and what happened her answer is evident in the way that Sam can hardly look her in the eye.

* * *

The web show is awful.

Carly and Sam are incredibly out of synch and the pickle bit doesn't go over well and when the show is finally done Carly is extremely relieved.

"Well, that wasn't very good." Freddie sighs setting down his camera and Carly can't help but agree.

"We were just a little off." Carly says picking up the busted balloon pieces off of the floor from the balloon animal bit and Freddie scoffs.

"Yeah, I'll say." Freddie chuckles closing his lap top and Carly rolls her eyes before turning and looking at Sam who is setting her blue sound effects remote on the hood of the iCarly car seat.

"The show will be better next week, right Sam?" Carly says and Sam meets her gaze fleetingly, blue eyes darting away before Carly can lock on.

"Yeah. Sure." She says simply and Carly swallows, tries to think of something to say, anything, but her mind stays blank.

And it would be so much easier if Sam was angry or disgusted or pissed off or any other emotion that Carly knows how to handle but Sam isn't any of those things. She's been quiet and withdrawn since that night five days ago and its absolutely terrifying when Carly is so used to being able to read her best friend.

So Carly's decided to play it cool, if cool means every time she talks to Sam her hands sweat and her heart skips beats at an alarming rate. She hasn't brought up what almost happened that night even though its all she can think about.

"Do you guys want to stay for dinner?" Carly finally says and Freddie nods coming from behind his AV cart.

"Sure. What's Spencer making?"

"Chicken tacos. You in Sam?" Carly asks and she wonders if she sounds as hopeful as she feels.

"No, I can't. I've got a lot of homework. Coach says I have to bring up my English grade or I'm gonna be riding the bench." Sam says quietly and her eyes stay fixed firmly on the floor.

"Are you sure?" Freddie asks and Sam gives him a fleeting look.

"Yeah. So, I'm gonna go. I'll see you tomorrow." Sam says and both Carly and Freddie watch her go helplessly.

"What is going on with her?" Freddie asks and Carly's surprised that he's looking at her expectantly when really she shouldn't be because she and Sam are best friends who tell each other everything. Or they use to be.

"I don't know. You're the one she makes out with." Carly bites out way too cynically and Freddie frowns confused.

"Are you okay?" He asks carefully, eyebrows raising slowly and Carly nods.

"I'm just…I don't know what's wrong with her." Carly mutters and she doesn't know how long she can take this. It's only been less than a week since the situation in the backseat and Carly has tried to give Sam her space, she has, but its hard when all she wants to do is get Sam alone and talk.

"Maybe I should go try and catch her? Talk to her." Freddie says looking at the elevator contemplatively and the notion that Freddie likes Sam, really likes her, hits Carly suddenly.

Sure Carly knew what they were doing. She knew. But Sam had always downplayed everything going on between them and Freddie always made it seem like he didn't feel anything for Sam but Carly should've realized that what they're doing isn't just about convenience.

Because Freddie has nerdy girls with retainers and pocket protectors chasing after him and Sam is always being asked out by guys with spiky hair and leather jackets and they're not really hard up for a date.

God, they like each other.

And she's been so selfish thinking about how she feels about Sam and how Sam feels about her and Carly never even figured Freddie into the equation or how Sam feels about him.

"You really like her, don't you?" Carly asks suddenly and Freddie gives her another confused look.

"All I'm saying is that something is wrong with Sam and innocent citizens could get hurt with her roaming the streets like that." He reasons and Carly smiles weakly.

"Yeah, you should go Freddie." She chokes out and Freddie nods.

"I'll come back for my equipment." And with that he's gone and Carly drops tiredly into a bean bag chair.

She has to talk to Sam, she realizes, because she knows that the sickening twists in her stomach wont go away if she doesn't.

* * *

"Can we talk?"

Sam looks so absolutely cornered as she comes off of the soccer field after practice that it would be amusing if Carly didn't feel like she was going to vomit all over Sam's cleats.

"What're you doing here?" Sam asks, shielding her eyes from the setting sun while she glances around, her team filing past her towards the locker room.

"I need to talk to you." Carly tries and Sam looks like she's going to run away at any moment but Carly whispers "Please." And Sam swallows and nods.

"Okay. Okay."

She leads Carly beneath the visitor bleachers, where sunlight pours through the wooden seats and garbage litters the crab grass. Rumor has it that this is where Cynthia Myerson got knocked up so Carly watches her steps.

Carly observes Sam kick an empty soda can with the side of her foot and tries to remembers all the things she'd planned to say but can't.

"I guess this isn't one of those things that we never talk about. Like the perming incident Freshman year." Sam whispers around a humorless smile and Carly touches the ends of her hair flashing back to a curlier, more disastrous time.

"I don't think so. Considering." Carly smiles weakly watching Sam lean against one of the beams keeping the rickety old bleachers standing.

Sam tilts her head questioningly "Considering."

"Considering its not something I could easily forget." Carly admits carefully, stepping on a burned cigarette butt absently.

"Yeah, I know." Sam sighs and there's a beat of silence where Carly just looks at Sam. Sam, in soccer shorts and a sports bra with her hair in a messy ponytail and knee high socks that are misshapen by the shin guards beneath them and she wonders how she got to this point where she can't even look at her friend without wanting her.

"I don't kiss girls." Carly begins suddenly and for the first time in days Sam's eyes lock onto hers and it makes her stomach flip. "I don't kiss girls but I wanted to kiss you. And I don't know where it came from or why, the feeling is just there now and it won't go away. No matter how much I try, I don't know how to make it go away."

"You want it to go away?" Sam asks and Carly makes a weird choked laughing noise in her throat.

"Sometimes yeah. Sometimes not so much." Carly breathes looking away from Sam and down at the ground.

"You're my best friend, Carly." Sam whispers and Carly nods.

"I know and you're mine. I just…I'm sorry." Carly whispers and it feels like she's pouring her guts out while Sam watches and it hurts.

"What does it feel like? The feeling?" Sam asks tentatively and Carly thinks for a moment wiping at the tears in her eyes.

"I don't know. Its hard to explain. It's like…" Carly trails off thoughtfully.

"Like something is flapping around in your stomach trying to fly out of your mouth?" Sam whispers, "And it kind of makes you nauseous but you don't really want it to stop? Even though its so scary?" Carly watches Sam speak, only nodding because its like Sam has stolen the words out of her mouth.

"Yeah, like riding The Decapitator at that amusement park, Death Mountain." Carly croaks stepping closer, draw near to Sam who doesn't move from against the wood beam. Just shuts her eyes and bows her head. "Is-is that how you feel?"

"I…" Sam trails off shaking her head and brushing her hair out of her eyes. Carly can't help but move closer because Sam looks so small and afraid and she just wants to make it better.

Then Carly is so close that when Sam blinks up at her nervously and she can see the specks of grey in Sam's blue eyes and the sunburn on the bridge of her nose and with a swallow she's leaning in again and tilting her head and so is Sam and Carly's pretty sure that if Sam didn't want to kiss her than she wouldn't part her lips like she is.

She's kissing Sam then, probably too eager and impatient but Sam's lips are soft and its nothing like kissing a boy because Sam isn't forcing her tongue past Carly's teeth and her hands aren't making a beeline for her boobs.

It's sweeter and softer and the couple of centimeters of height that Carly has on Sam makes the angle so different because she's the one leaning down and when she touches her tongue to Sam's the other girl tastes like blue sports drink.

And it feels good, really good, to be kissing Sam. So shockingly good that its almost scary and Carly's has to fist her hands against Sam's jaw to keep her hands from trembling.

Sam pulls away first, not far, just pulling her mouth from Carly's with an airless gasp as their noses brush together and Carly listens to her breathe and can't help but think that respiration is overrated.

"I have to go." Sam whispers quickly in a hoarse voice and Carly swallows as the clichéd reality that she's kissing her best friend under the bleachers settles in. She rethinks the entire notion of breathing being overrated while she tries to inhale. Her hands drop away from Sam's face and she takes a faltering step backwards.

"Okay." Carly says because she doesn't know what else to say.

Sam's gaze bounces frantically between Carly's eyes and mouth, "I-I'm supposed to meet Freddie."

"Okay." Carly says again like its no big deal that they were just kissing and now Sam is talking about going to meet Freddie. Carly is very aware of how stupid she sounds.

Sam slips from between Carly and the wooden pillar and then she's walking away, glancing quickly over her shoulder and Carly squeezes her eyes shut and listens to the funny sound her cleats make as she walks away.

* * *

Sam keeps running away and Carly's positive that it means something. And when people run away its never a good thing. People don't run away from cake or unicorns, no, they run away from rabid wildebeests and angry ghosts and other things they're scared of.

Carly wonders if maybe Sam is scared even though Sam claims never to be scared of anything and to her credit Carly has seen Sam take a bite out of a two month old chicken nugget which was pretty brave in Carly's book. But maybe Sam is scared of this, and why shouldn't she be?

Carly's terrified too and all the running away Sam's doing isn't helping.

Carly juggles her and Spencer's smoothies as she tries to pull her door key out of her pocket while she turns onto her hallway.

"C'mon." Carly grunts shoving her hand into her front pocket just as Freddie's apartment door swings open and then there's giggling that Carly immediately recognizes and a thud and when she looks up its Sam and Freddie. Kissing. Again.

Freddie has Sam pinned against the door jam and Carly's pretty sure that Sam's hand is down the front of his pants which is why Carly has to wonder if Sam is trying to destroy her.

"Whoa, hey." Freddie says jerking away from Sam quickly, making eye contact with Carly. "Hey, Carly." He chokes, hunching over slightly and pulling down his shirt but Carly isn't really paying attention to him.

She's looking at Sam with her hair all tousled and her face flushed and mostly like she's been fooling around with Freddie and it hurts.

The look on Sam's face is indecipherable and Carly can only imagine the look on her own face.

"Where is your Mom?" Carly cries because after the whole shaving cream fiasco last summer Mrs. Benson had banned Sam from the Benson household.

"She, uh, she's at mall mart buying a various assortment of sponges and loofas." Freddie says nervously and it's so preposterous that it can't be a lie.

Carly laughs, she has to because the alternative is crying, screaming, sobbing so she laughs and the sound is ugly and dark and painful as she yanks her keys out of her pocket, spilling strawberry splat smoothie on the tip of her sneaker.

"Carly." Sam tries and Carly ignores her, unlocking the door and jerking it open before slamming it shut behind her.

* * *

She hates everyone. She hates Freddie. She hates Sam. And she hates herself because she so so stupid.

"Carly?" Spencer calls tentatively but Carly doesn't move from her position face down on the couch.

"Yeah?" Carly answers, her words muffled by the cushion squashed against her face.

"Are you dead?" He asks and Carly can hear him moving around the living room.

"No." She sighs even though she sort of wishes she were.

"Are you okay? You seem kind of glum." He says and Carly can tell he's leaning over the back of the couch staring at the back of her head. "Did you have a fight with your friends?"

"I have no friends. I'm a loner. A hermit. A lone wolf." She declares into the furniture and Spencer pats her head lovingly.

"Sure you have friends. Tall guy with dark hair and an affinity for technological geekery and a blond girl with anger issues." Spencer tries and Carly shakes her head.

"I have no idea who you're talking about." she responds and Spencer sighs heavily.

"Alright, lone wolf. Do you want some dinner?"

"Yes, please."

"Hungry?"

"Yes, very."

"So you're saying you're hungry… like the wolf?" Spencer says and Carly shakes her head at the sound of Spencer's almost silent laughter and victorious fist pump.

"Spencer." Carly sighs and he clears his throat.

"Vegetarian lasagna?"

"That'll be fine."

"Okay, well I gotta run to the store and get lasagna supplies." Spencer says picking up his keys. "I'll be back. Okay?"

"Alright." Carly answers listening to Spencer put on his shoes.

"I've got my cell. Call me if you need anything."

The door slams shut and then is locked from the outside and Carly stays face down on the sofa and thinks about maybe getting up and taking a shower but she's tired.

There's a knock at the door and Carly pushes herself up with a groan and pads barefoot to the door.

"Who is it?" Carly asks before glancing through the peep hole and she really wishes she'd just pretended she wasn't home when she sees Sam on the other side of the door.

"It's me." Sam answers and Carly turns and presses her back to the door.

"I don't want to talk to you Sam!" Carly yells.

"Carly open the door."

"Sam, go away or-or I'll call the cops." Carly threatens lamely.

"Call them, I don't care, just open the door." Sam responds calling her bluff.

"No." Carly shouts and Sam is quiet on the other side of the wood separating them.

Carly's halfway up the stairs when there's the distinct sound of the lock being pick and then Sam is walking in like she's been invited, shoving her lock picking bobby pin into her pocket before closing the door.

"Macgyver much?" Carly groans but Sam doesn't say anything.

All the way across the room Carly can hear the sound of Sam grinding her teeth. A bad habit that Carly could never get her to break and Carly knows what it means. It means that she's angry or upset to the point where she's about explode but if anyone has the right to explode its Carly.

"You know that breaking and entering is a felony, right?" Carly asks leaning against the banister and Sam visibly swallows.

"I need to talk to you." She bites out and Carly frowns.

"Sam, I don't want to talk to you." Carly hisses, her own anger bubbling upwards. "I want you to just leave me alone, okay? Why don't you go find Freddie and go fool around some more."

"I broke up with Freddie." Sam blurts all at once and Carly steps down a step cautiously. She wasn't expecting that.

"What?"

"I told Freddie that I can't do anything with him anymore." She utters and the anger that had been so furiously bubbling upwards inside of Carly dissipates quickly.

"What? Why?" she asks and Sam looks at her like she's crazy.

"Why? Because of you." she says incredulously like the answer is obvious and Carly should know.

"I didn't do anything."

"You're always looking at me, Carly. With your big brown eyes and I can't tell what you're thinking." Sam begins, blue eyes glassy with tears. "and then I spend most of the day wondering why on earth you were looking at me like that. You take up too much of my brain, too much of my focus when I don't have any to spare. We're best friends. I'm me and you're you and the things I think, I-I feel aren't right.."

Carly watches in stunned silence as Sam wipes angrily at the tears running from her eyes. She's falling apart and all Carly can do is watch.

"You kissed me." Sam cries looking up at Carly through tears and even though Sam's always been a little shorter than her, Carly can't ever remember her looking this small. "You kissed me and you're all I can think about. Why would you do that? How could you do that? I like Freddie even though he's nerdy and a dweeb, I like him."

Carly walks down the steps carefully, never taking her eyes off of Sam, standing by the couch angry and tearful and about a million other things.

"I don't know. I think- I think I like you." Carly breathes and Sam digs the heels of her hands into her eyes, hard, like all of this is too much to handle and Carly absolutely understands.

"I have to get out of here." Sam mutters and she's turning and running again and Carly can't stand here and watch her do that anymore.

Before she realizes what she's doing Carly is grabbing the back of Sam's tee shirt and pulling hard, so hard that Sam is coming back to her and turning around and Carly is tangling her fingers in Sam's hair and cupping the back of her head.

"Let me go." Sam grinds out, her fingers curling around Carly's elbows and Carly shakes her head.

"No." Carly exclaims shoving Sam backwards and the other girl stumbles slightly before pushing back so hard that Carly stumbles and knocks over Spencer's Japanese voice activated lamp, sending it crashing to the ground.

"Let me go." Sam snarls, biting out each word and while any normal person would run away, Carly doesn't. She doesn't because Sam's voice is hoarse and her eyes are red with tears and she's breaking right in Carly's hands.

"Stop running away. Just please, stop." Carly whispers brokenly and she can feel tears burning in her own eyes and when they break free she doesn't bother wiping them. Just lets them run down her cheeks and drip from her jaw. "Please."

Porcelain and glass crunch under Sam's sneakers as she takes a step closer and Carly can almost see whatever walls Sam has built up give and crumble right before she leans in and kisses Carly like she's helpless to do anything else.

Sam kisses her deep and searching with soft lips and a curious tongue and then Carly isn't so much holding Sam anymore as clinging to her and being thankful that Sam had shoved her right up against the side table.

And for all of the nights Carly has stayed up imagining this her ideas don't compare because Sam is twisting her fingers in the empty belt loops of Carly's jeans and raising up on her toes like she wants to crawl all over the other girl and Carly is more than willing to let her.

Sam pulls away with the softest sob and Carly drops her hands from the back of her head to press against her cheek.

"Are you okay?" Carly whispers even though she doesn't even know if _she's_ okay but Sam's breathing is hiccupped and irregular and she's clutching at Carly so hard.

"No." Sam murmurs, licking her lips and Carly watches her before mimicking the action.

"Yeah, me either."


	5. Chapter 5

"What now?"

Sam's voice is unintentionally loud in the enclosed space of Carly's bedroom and Carly blinks down at her hands in her lap.

She thinks for a moment then shrugs, "I don't know. I'm not really familiar with girl kissing protocol."

She'd dragged Sam up the stairs after the kiss in the living room because she'd known Spencer would be back any second but mostly because she was terrified that Sam would still bolt and Carly wouldn't be able to take that. So now they're locked in her bedroom, even though Spencer called up 20 minutes ago that dinner was ready.

"Me either." Sam admits softly, the back of her hand brushing Carly's arm when she reaches up to scratch her shoulder beside her on the edge of the bed.

Even the small accidental touch shoots hot through Carly and she drags in a slow breath.

"Do we…are we supposed to go out now. Be like girlfriends?" Sam asks curiously and Carly shrugs again.

"I guess we don't have to be. We don't go out with every guy we kiss, right?" Carly says and Sam turns to look at her contemplatively.

"I guess not. So we're just friends that…make out?" Sam questions and Carly feels her mouth lift into a half smile.

"No, well yeah…" Carly begins, peeking at Sam who grins. "But maybe we should, like, date…unless you don't want to."

"I do. It's just so weird."

"Bad weird? Like having a parasitic twin coming out of your abdomen, weird?" Carly asks and Sam shakes her head.

"That's not bad weird, that's awesome." Sam declares avidly, " And us dating isn't bad weird either."

"So then it's good weird? Us dating"

Sam looks at Carly hard for a moment, "Yeah, its good weird. Like having a kick ass parasitic twin."

Carly smiles at Sam again and it feels like that's all she can do now, she's so happy. "Cool."

.Sam nods, "Okay, so we'll date. This way I'll know if you just want me for my body."

Laughter pushes up through the tension in Carly's chest and she rocks sideways, nudging Sam's shoulder playfully. "Sam."

"I have to know these things, Carly. I want you to want me for my mind too." Sam beams playfully, nudging Carly back.

"Oh, you know I love that devious mind of yours." Carly utters and Sam gets the expression she always gets whenever Carly says she loves something about her. That raised eyebrow, self indulgent smirking expression that Carly actually kind of loves too.

"I'm dating Carly Shay. I know there's gonna be a lot of jealous guys and at least one girl, that I know of." Sam says proudly and Carly smiles, then frowns as her words register.

"A girl?"

"You know, Big Beth." Sam informs with a laugh and Carly grimaces.

"Big Beth? Ugh." Carly shudders. "Though she's been mistaken for a guy way less since she got that hair removal procedure done."

"True that."

"But still, Ugh." Carly shudders again.

"So maybe we shouldn't go around broadcasting to the world that were, ya know, dating." Sam whisper suddenly serious. "I mean, its not like I'm embarrassed or anything because you're a hottie but I just don't want people to know. I don't want Freddie to know yet."

"Speaking of Freddie, what happens when he does find out." Carly asks carefully and Sam grips the edge of the mattress absently.

"I don't know. Between you and me he'll think he has the power to turn girls into lesbians." Sam offers and Carly holds back a snicker.

"He's going to be hurt." Carly sighs, her fingers reaching out to trace Sam's nearly white knuckles, gripping at the comforter before physically prying her fingers from the edge of the bed and lacing them with hers.

Sam squeezes her hand tight but stares down at the hardwood floor blankly. "He'll get over it." She says like she doesn't care but Carly can hear the words stick in her throat. She knows that Sam's hurting over this. "But I don't want to tell him yet."

Carly understands, "Okay."

"Okay." Sam agrees and Carly glances down at their feet, her ridiculous furry mint green slippers and Sam's multicolored high tops brushing against each other.

When Carly looks up again Sam is watching her so intently that Carly blushes instantly.

"What?" She breathes, tucking dark hair behind her ear with her free hand and Carly recognizes that unreadable expression that Sam is wearing as the one she sometimes catches on the other girl's face but instead of looking away sheepishly like Sam usually does, she leans forward and kisses Carly.

Carly wonders if every time that Sam has looked at her like that this is what she was thinking about.

Sam kisses like she has all the time in the world and its such a contradiction because everything else she does is fast and reckless and rushed and it sort of blows Carly's mind in a heady, breathless way.

Sam leans into Carly, one hand planted on the bedspread between their bodies and one hand clutching firmly at her thigh and its all Carly can do to hang on, hands finding Sam's waist and gripping hard.

When Sam's teeth sink into Carly's bottom lip, Carly has to pull away with a soft groan because the action makes a scorching spark shoot all the way to her toes.

"You're such a good kisser." Carly compliments, sucking in a ragged breath and Sam sort of laughs breathlessly, leaning away to give Carly space but instead Carly follows her retreat. "I can't stop kissing you." She murmurs right before she finds Sam's mouth again and Sam just nods and lets Carly push her , if somewhat awkwardly, against the mound of pillows at the head of Carly's bed.

"I'm fine with that." Sam mumbles against Carly's lips as Carly kneels over her, more or less pinning her to the bed and Carly's had hot, throbbing dreams like this.

Every time Sam's tongue brushes hers, Carly feels it deep and low in her stomach and when she settles her weight on top of Sam it's the other girls turn to pull away with a gasp.

"Whoa," She mutters so softy that if Carly weren't on top of her, so close that they're practically sharing the same breath, she wouldn't have heard it all.

"Is that a good 'Whoa' or a bad 'Whoa'?" Carly questions softly, searching Sam's impossibly blue eyes.

"That's definitely a good 'Whoa'. Definitely." Sam grins recklessly up at her and Carly is a little proud of the redness of Sam's mouth. "But now its obvious you want me for my body."

Carly grins, leaning in to kiss her again, hot and slow. "So. What're you going to do about it?"

"Probably just let you have it." Sam concedes around Carly's tongue.

"Carly! Dinner's Ready!" Spencer's screeching voice rising from downstairs makes them both jump apart, Carly sliding quickly off to the side of Sam.

"Alright, I'm coming!" Carly screams back, dragging her fingers over her eyes while she and Sam remain side by side, not touching on the bed and Carly tries in vain to ignore the low deep throbbing going on in her hips.

"So what's for dinner?" Sam asks nonchalantly, sitting up on the bed and shaking out her hair like they weren't just making out and Carly has to laugh.

"Vegetarian Lasagna."

"Eh, I can swallow that." Sam decides after a moment, scooting over to the edge of the bed and when her feet hit the ground she glances back at Carly.

"Coming?" Sam questions.

"Yes." Carly sighs rolling onto her side and all of this is so surreal to Carly that it feels like it's a dream she'll wake up from at any moment.

Sam leans over the bed tentatively, kissing Carly once, taking her bottom lip between hers and Carly groans softly.

"You're a really good kisser too, by the way." Sam whispers before grabbing Carly's wrist and tugging her up and off the bed and out the door.

* * *

Carly feels giddy. She feels keyed up and excited and half like she's keeping the best secret in the world and half like she has the words 'I kissed Sam Puckett.' written in thick black magic marker on her forehead.

She's spent most of the school day alternating between sharing blushing glances with Sam and absolutely not looking at her for the fear of not being able to keep up the rouse that everything is absolutely normal.

"Carly, can I talk to you?" Carly nearly jumps out of her skin at the sound of Freddie's voice and her keys clatter noisily out of her hands.

Freddie quickly bends over and picks them up, handing them to Carly who swipes her hand over her forehead, checking for ink.

"Hey, thanks." Carly breathes nervously, taking the keys with a shaking hand, turning to lock the apartment door before putting them in her bag. "You want to talk?"

"Yeah." He sighs, shifting on his bare feet in the hall and Carly watches him anxiously. She knew that this would happen, that Freddie would come to her about Sam eventually because she and Sam are best friends and who do you go to if your having trouble with a girl you like but their best friend and Carly's knows she's going to have to lie to him.

"So, have you talked to Sam?" He asks quietly and Carly shrugs, glancing down the hall because Sam is waiting for her in the lobby.

"Yeah, I've talked to her."

"So you know that she doesn't want to, uh, hang out with me anymore." Freddie sighs leaning back against his closed door. "Did she…did she tell you why? Because she's been acting so strange. One day we're…and the next day she just tells me that she can't be with me anymore. Is she okay?"

Freddie is hurt and genuinely concerned and watching Carly with dark helpless eyes so Carly lies.

"I, uh, I don't know. She hasn't said anything."

And Sam always tells Carly what a bad liar she is on account of her shifty eyes and as Freddie looks at her she wonders if he can tell she's not being truthful.

"I mean, she told me but she didn't tell me why."

Freddie seems to find that acceptable and he nods once, slowly and swallows so loud that Carly can hear it.

"You know, Sam's obnoxious and rude and vulgar but I really like her." Freddie admits and Carly just tries to breathe through the guilt strangling her.

"I know." She chokes out, eyes focusing on the ground because she can't bear to meet Freddie's eyes when he's peering at her like that.

"So do you think you can talk to her for me?" He asks hopefully and Carly nods licking her lips quickly, her eyes darting down the hall again.

"Yeah, I will." Carly says and she's smiling that awful deranged smile she has when things are uncomfortable and scares Sam and it hurts her face.

"Thanks Carly. You know, you're a good friend." he smiles sadly and Carly wants to scream that no, no she's not. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah, of course." Carly rasps and with that she watches Freddie go back inside his apartment, closing the door softly and for a second Carly just stands there, staring at the bronze numbers on his door before she turns down the hall to meet Sam.

She doesn't have to go far because three steps later she's rounding the corner and staring at Sam leaning heavily against the wall. She heard everything, Carly can read it in her eyes.

"Hey." Carly croaks and Sam doesn't even bother to meet her eyes and that combined with the way Freddie did look at her and the guilt makes Carly physically nauseous.

"Hey." Sam answers and that single word is rough with emotion. "I don't really feel like going to the mall anymore."

Carly nods, she doesn't feel like going out anymore either. "Well, we can go inside and hang out." Carly offers but Sam shakes her head.

"No, I think I'm just gonna go home." Sam whispers and fear immediately claws its way up Carly's throat.

"Sam." Carly tries weakly, reaching out to hold Sam's hand and the other girls fingers curl absently around Carly's.

"I'm just…how am I supposed to tell him that 'Hey, I like you but I like Carly more.'" Sam questions, dropping her head back against the wall with a thud and Carly has no choice but to shrug because she has no idea.

"I'm sorry. I'm just gonna go home, okay?" Sam says squeezing Carly's hand before dropping it and Carly is getting even more sickened by the idea that Sam is running away again.

"Sam, don't…" Carly tries weakly reaching for Sam's hand again and Sam lets her tangle their fingers together and steps closer to her.

"I just need to be alone." Sam whispers and Carly nods, shutting her eyes as Sam leans in and kisses her once, softly before pulling away. "We'll ride to school together, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Carly murmurs and Sam gives her a broken smile before turning away and heading for the stairwell instead of waiting for the elevator.

* * *

Sam doesn't have school spirit, she hates school, most all school events and pretty much anything that has to do with any sort of educational institution so Carly feels a pang of sympathy as she walks through the mess of men and women soccer players, water, soap, and cars that is a fundraising car wash in the school parking lot to where Sam is helping wash a car with clearly no effort.

"Can you wash mine next?" Carly asks peering through her sunglasses at Sam who looks at her and grins.

"That'll be 5 bucks." Sam says and Carly pulls a ten out of her pocket, handing it to the girl.

"Do you have change?"

"Nope." Sam says and Carly should probably object more but Sam is wearing a bikini top and board shorts and is wet and God, Carly is glad that its bright enough for sun glasses because she's fairly sure that the look she's giving Sam is at the very least lascivious.

"Well you owe me then." Carly says and Sam blinks at her for a moment.

"Okay." she finally says with a shrug, pocketing the money and before turning to a red head girls wielding a sponge who Carly recognizes as Sam's teammate.

"Hey Kristen, I'm gonna go wash another car." Sam says tossing her sponge into a bucket and the girl frowns around a smile.

"You haven't even been working on this car." She laughs and Sam arches an incredulous eyebrow.

"I have been working. Not hard. But I've been working." Sam defends and the other girl just waves her off with a roll of her eyes.

"Just go Sam."

"Thanks" Sam mutters wiping her wet hands on her soggy shorts before turning to Carly and whispering. "Can I talk to you?" to Carly.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday." Sam says vaguely over the spray of water as she rinses the loose dirt off of the car. "I mean, I wasn't trying to eaves drop or anything, I just heard you guys talking when I was on my way up to your apartment."

"I know." Carly sighs a few feet back, watching Sam drag her sponge over her car with far more exertion than with the car before. "But we have to tell Freddie. He's heartbroken, Sam."

Carly watches Sam pause for a moment before resuming moving her sponge over the hood of the car. "How's he heartbroken? You're the one he's been in love with since, like, the beginning of time."

Carly shakes her head a little, following Sam around the car. "Well I like someone else." Carly says loudly and Sam pauses again, fighting the urge to smile.

"Yeah, me too."

Carly smiles a little as Sam turns around, using the back of her hand to push loose, wet hair out of her face. "We'll talk to him." Sam reassures and Carly nods.

"So what time are you done here?" Carly asks and she really likes the way Sam immediately blushes.

"One, I think."

"I'll wait but only because your wearing a bikini and because I'm clearly using you for your body." Carly whispers discreetly and Sam flushes again.

* * *

"What're you eating?" Carly asks from across the kitchen table watching Sam peel the reddish orange fruit that looks like a cross between an orange and a grapefruit.

"It's a tangelo." Sam shrugs dropping a piece of rind on the table and Carly frowns.

"Isn't that, like, your third one?" Carly questions remembering correctly seeing Sam pull at least two of the fruit out of her bag within the last hour. "Why so much citrus?"

"I think I might have scurvy." Sam says sucking at the juice at her fingers and Carly frowns then lifts her eyebrows at the sight of Sam sucking her index finger into her mouth. "So I need the vitamin C."

Oddly enough it makes perfect sense because even though Sam isn't a pirate, she does eat a lot of dried meat.

"So…" Carly begins carefully, scribbling the last of her homework before closing her notebook.

"So…" Sam mimics taking a bite of Tangelo.

"I saw you talking to Freddie today after third period." Carly mentions nonchalantly, or she hopes it is, because the sight of Freddie and Sam huddled together outside in the hall had made her insanely curious, she didn't stop, choosing instead to head to her next class.

"What did you say to him?"

"I didn't tell him anything." Sam starts quietly. "I just told him that even though we couldn't be together that I still wanted to be his friend. Then I told him his hair looked stupid because it did."

"Did he take it okay?" Carly questions and Sam shrugs.

"He seemed alright." Sam says another piece of tangelo and Carly sees right through her nonchalance.

"Sam." Carly sighs and Sam scratches her face and shuts her eyes for a moment.

"I feel bad, okay? I mean, yeah Freddie is a huge geek and stuff but I just…" Sam trails off and Carly nods, she wants to be understanding about Sam and Freddie's relationship or whatever but its hard.

"You like him." Carly responds sullenly and Sam looks at her quickly.

"I like you more. I like you a lot." Sam says strongly and Carly nods.

"Well, I'm glad you talked to him, sort of, at least." Carly smiles and Sam nods thoughtfully.

Carly watches her get lost inside of her head and Carly's not sure why but it scares her when Sam does that.

"So are you excited about the homecoming game?" Carly asks effectively bringing Sam back to herself.

* * *

Now would probably be a good time to stop.

The idea flutters around in Carly's head but she can't seem to grasp it, not when Sam is stretched out on top of her and her shirt is in a crumpled heap somewhere over the edge of the bed and Carly's hands slide uncertainly over the strap of her bra.

"You can take it off…if you want." Sam whispers and her voice is shaking and even though everything is sort of heavy and hazy Carly knows she should just stop but Sam is peering down at her with her blond hair falling all around them in soft heavy ringlets so she doesn't.

And its not like Carly hasn't thought about this because she's stayed up lots of night thinking about this but Spencer is right down stairs working on his sculpture with his friend Socko and they're supposed to meet Freddie at The Groovy Smoothie.

But apparently that's not reason enough to stop just yet because Carly's hands are fumbling with the simple clasp at Sam's back before she can really think about it and it really shouldn't be so hard because Carly, ya know, wears a bra but usually when she's unhooking a bra Sam isn't biting at her neck.

Finally, finally, the material gives and sags and then Sam is shrugging nervously out of it and then Carly is looking at Sam's breasts. They're small and compact pretty much like the rest of Sam's body and Carly covers her with an open hand, inhaling at the way her nipple tightens against her palm.

"You're all soft." Carly laughs breathlessly and Sam just sort of nods and swallows closing her eyes and Carly focuses on using both of her hands to explore her chest without seeming like she's tuning a radio.

And Carly figures she must be doing something right because Sam's elbows sort of give and she's half collapsing and half slipping to the side of Carly who moves with her and ducks her head to take a breast in her mouth.

Sam's skin is soft and tangy and Carly's pretty sure this is going to be burned into her brain forever. The way Sam tastes, the way Sam is clawing at her shoulder through her shirt.

Carly's in that intense hazy place again as Sam reaches down unceremoniously and tugs up her shirt before covering Carly's breast through her stupid pink bra that she really wishes were non existent right now.

She lets Sam push her onto her back again after wrestling her shirt off and when Sam settles over her, Carly has to drag in a breath at the feel of Sam's thigh pressing tight between her thighs.

Sam kisses her again, pulling back slightly to fit her hand between their hips and Carly's eyes flutter shut when Sam brushes her knuckles between her legs and Carly just knows that she's probably wet through her panties and shorts and that Sam can probably feel it.

Then Sam's hand is gone and she's catching Carly's hands and pinning them to the bed, the back of her hands scratching against the mattress where the fitted sheet pulled away from the corners as Sam pushes back in closer.

She does it over and over, that slow thrusting, rocking movement, the feel of Sam's jeans rough against Carly's thighs and Carly wonders if Sam is hitting that spot that makes Carly's eyes squeeze shut, over and over on purpose, if it feels good when she pushes back down against Carly's thigh where its fitted tight between her legs, if it's always supposed to feel this good but her throats not working and asking questions is the last thing on her mind especially while Sam's tongue is investigating her molars.

They should stop, Carly thinks. Because for all of the kissing they've done, sex hasn't ever really come up and yeah, they should stop and talk about this and they will…in a second.

She just needs one second…

Just one second…

Just one more…

Just…

Oh God…

"S…Sam." Carly cries brokenly into Sam's mouth, her fingers squeezing Sam's where they're intertwined over her head and its like her entire body explodes arching upwards. And Carly's had orgasms before but this is so sharp and intense and overwhelming that it almost hurts and Sam doesn't stop moving, just slows and pulls back watching Carly with hooded eyes.

"Are you okay?" Sam breathes, voice strained while she releases Carly's hands and pushes back the sweaty damp hair surrounding Carly's face.

"Yeah," Carly reassures even though she's sure she doesn't sound it but she tangles both hands in Sam's loose hair and kisses her hard.

Sam's hips move restlessly against her still so Carly takes up the slow grinding rhythm and focuses on making Sam come. And she really wants to make her come too.

She kisses Sam with everything until she has to pull away because kissing and thrusting take far to much coordination so Carly mouths her neck, sucking at the straining tendons in her neck.

The push and pull sends pulsing aftershocks through Carly's body , dragging soft grunts from her and the soft sounds must do something to Sam because she buries her face in Carly's neck and whispers. "I'm close." right up against the other girls ear.

The button on Sam's jeans is hot from the friction against Carly's stomach and Carly fights with it for a moment before popping it open and lowering the zipper and then she's shoving her hand into the hot space between Sam's thighs.

"What're you doing?" Sam whispers hoarsely against Carly's jaw but her hips change direction so that she's pushing hard against Carly's fingers through her underwear.

Sam is swollen and wet and hot to the touch even through the layer of cotton between her and Carly's fingers and Carly groans at the feeling.

Then Sam makes a chocked off noise in the back of her throat and Carly has the fleeting thought that she's done something wrong because Sam's body sort of freezes but then her hand is flying down to cover Carly's on the outside of her jeans and her back is arching and she's making a weak keening sound in Carly's neck.

She's coming and it's beautiful and Carly can feel the spasms against her palm and God, she wants to do this to Sam every chance she gets.

When its over Sam rolls off of Carly slowly, giving her time to pull her hands out of her pants and Carly listens to her pant while she stares up at the ceiling.

They really just did that.

Carly's pretty sure what just happened is the definition of getting carried away.

Carly rolls onto her side slowly, fully aware of the sweat cooling on her skin and the stickiness between her legs, to look at Sam with the back of her hand covering her eyes, completely topless with her jeans undone, bright red underwear peeking through the open fly. Its sort of unnecessarily hot.

"Hey." Carly greets like they just met in the hall or something and Sam's mouth flickers into a smile.

"Hola." Sam whispers uncovering her eyes and Carly props herself up on an elbow while Sam reaches out and runs her fingers gently through Carly's sweaty hair.

"So we just…" Carly laughs a little hysterical and Sam nods.

"Pretty much."

"I've thought about doing this with you. I mean I know we haven't really talked about it." Carly begins reaching out to slide a palm over Sam's stomach.

"Hey, you don't hear me complaining." Sam sighs leaning up to kiss Carly before pushing her on he back and settling between her thighs.

Carly stays silent as Sam pulls down the cup of her bra and drags her tongue over her nipple. Sam arches an eyebrow at her before doing it again, slower and more deliberate this time, making Carly's eyes flutter.

"That's what I was going for in the first take." She mutters and Carly just chuckles as Sam leans back and unbuttons Carly's checkered shorts.

"This okay?" Sam asks and Carly nods, lifting her hips to help Sam remove her pants before whipping them over her shoulder.

"Yeah."

"Cool." Sam mutters fingering the waistband of Carly's panties before slipping her hand in palm down.

Carly claws at the bedding as Sam's strokes through her wetness for a while, leaning forward to kiss Carly again who nearly bites off her tongue when she eases a finger inside of her.

"Did I hurt you?" Sam asks nervously .

"Uh, no." Carly breathes because what she feels is definitely the opposite of pain. "No."

Sam twists her fingers and grins, "Hey, do you think you can, you know, again?" She asks curiously, thrusting her finger gently.

Carly bucks up against her touch weakly and nods, "Yeah, yeah, I think so."

* * *

"Hey."

Carly smiles as she approaches Freddie leaning heavily against the chain link fence as she nears the locker room where a lot of other people are waiting for the players to emerge after the game.

"Carly." Freddie greets, shrugging deeper into his jacket and Carly does the same as bitter cold air whips around them.

"Did you see the game?" Carly asks and the guilt she usually feels around Freddie is considerably less since Sam talked to Freddie.

When they did the web show earlier in the week it had gone remarkably smooth and Carly's sure that it was due in part by the way that Sam was extra nice to him, if extra nice means hurling insults at him every chance she got but then again he'd smiled from behind the camera and insulted her back.

"Yeah, talk about a knock down drag out battle." Freddie comments and the game had been intense with fans from both teams screaming the entire time. "But Sam played awesome."

"She always does." Carly laughs a little proudly. "So how're you doing with the whole Sam thing?"

Carly doesn't know why she asked that because its easier to forget how tangled up everything is when she isn't instigating conversations about it.

"Fine. Feels a little bit like old times though I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing,." Freddie admits and Carly smiles and brushes hair out of her face.

"Well I think it's a good thing." Carly smiles and Freddie nods, his eyes darting over her shoulder as players start emerging from the locker room.

"Yeah, I guess. And look I'm sorry I tried to put you in the middle of the whole me and Sam situation." Freddie says apologetically and with absolutely no knowledge of how in the middle she really is and the guilty feeling starts to boil up. "I know she's your best friend and you have to take her side in everything no matter what. And even if she told you why she dumped me you probably couldn't tell me."

"Yeah." Carly laughs nervously just as Sam walks, or more like limps, up to them.

"Hey Gimp." Freddie greets stepping away from the fence.

"Freddork." Sam shoots back with a glare as she comes up to stand next to Carly, close without actually touching her.

"Sorry about the game." He says unapologetically and Carly smirks.

"Sorry about your face." Sam sighs before slinging around an arm around Carly shoulder and leaning heavily into her. "Now lets go, I need food."

Carly slings her arm around Sam's waist and doesn't miss the sort of hopeful way Freddie smiles at Sam.


	6. Chapter 6

Carly has always loved Sam.

For as long as she can remember, probably since the first time they met because Sam is all bright, glaring personality and mischievous energy and sometimes blatant disrespect but Carly still loves being around her, being the focus of that attention.

"I don't want to go." Sam whispers against Carly's mouth and Carly laughs around the other girls tongue, rubbing her thumb over the soft hair at the nape of Sam's neck.

"You made a commitment, Sam." Carly scolds but she seriously doubts that it sounds at all stern when Carly is sort of hauling Sam over the center consol by her shirt while she curls her tongue inside of Sam's mouth. "It's only a weekend tournament and you can't ditch your team." Carly grins as Sam tries to find a place for her hand and accidentally honks the horn.

"Yes, I can." Sam laughs as Carly kisses her throat, sliding her tongue over her skin. "I'll ditch them and spend the weekend doing things to you." Sam says suggestively and Carly is tempted at the offer.

"Things?" Carly questions finding Sam's mouth again and the other girl nods, smiling.

"Yeah. Sex things." Sam clarifies and Carly just groans at the proposition.

"What would your teammates think?" Carly asks and Sam shrugs while she bites gently at Carly's bottom lip, making her groan again.

"Who cares. If you want I'll sell my teammates and buy you presents." Sam proposes pulling back to grin down at Carly

"I don't think they'd appreciate that." Carly breathes pushing Sam's hair out of her face while the girl hovers a little awkwardly over her.

"I don't want to go." Sam whispers again and Carly just smiles.

Carly has always loved Sam, for as long as she can remember so when the idea that she might actually be _in _love with Sam hits her while she stares up at Sam who is watching her with bright, blue eyes and a subdued smirk, it shouldn't be all that surprising and yet it is.

"You have to." Carly chokes out, sudden emotion making it hard to speak but she knows that's what she's supposed to say and Sam falls back, dropping down into her seat with a sigh and Carly watches her with the vague feeling she's just been hit by a bus that she probably should've seen coming.

"Fine." Sam concedes while Carly leans over the steering wheel and uses the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe away the condensation from the windshield revealing the empty school parking lot in the early morning light.

"But you're gonna miss me while I'm gone." Sam sighs straightening her clothes and Carly smiles

"I'm sure I will but I think I'll survive somehow." Carly laughs and Sam rolls her eyes.

"I doubt it."

They both get out of the car and Carly opens the trunk while Sam drags her bag out and slings it over her shoulder.

"So, I'll see you later." Carly smiles and Sam nods.

"Yep, in two days." Sam says and Carly has to fight the urge to kiss Sam as Sam's teammate begin arriving in the parking lot.

"Bye Sam." Carly sighs and the soft look Sam gets in her eye makes Carly melt.

"Later Carls."

* * *

"I think I'm gonna ask Sam out again."

Carly's entire life sort of flashes before her eye as soon as the chunk of whole wheat organic pizza hit's the back of her throat and she can't help but think how lame it would be to die in the middle of a pizza parlor.

"Are you okay?" Freddie asks panicked and then his big hand is coming down heavily on her back and the chunk of pizza flies back up and out of Carly's esophagus.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Carly coughs wiping her mouth with a paper napkin. "But what did you just say?"

"I might ask Sam out again." Freddie says still looking concernedly at Carly. "We've been hanging out a lot…"

"You have?" Carly asks curiously. Sam hadn't told her that and its not like she's jealous or anything just surprised.

"Yeah." Freddie shrugs taking a bite out of his own pizza. "So unless you've reconsidered our relationship…" He says hopefully as if it even matters.

But Carly says, "Nope, never gonna happen." just in case.

"Then I'm gonna try and get back together with Sam."

"Freddie," Carly begins carefully, picking the mushroom off of her pizza. "I think Sam likes someone else."

And she doesn't want to hurt Freddie, she doesn't, but she can't let him just try and steal her girlfriend, albeit without even knowing he was stealing her.

"What? Are you sure?" Freddie questions. "She hasn't said anything."

"Yeah, I'm positive." Carly says firmly and its not a lie but it still sort of hurts coming out.

"Well, who is he?" Freddie questions and Carly can tell he's trying to be nonchalant but its not really working.

"Oh, I don't know." Carly whispers glancing around the pizzeria nervously. "Just some guy."

"Is it serious?" Freddie questions and takes a bite out of her pizza to hide the flush rushing up her neck.

"Yeah, I think it is."

Freddie's entire face falls and Carly winces at the pang of guilt that resonates in her chest.

"I'm sorry." Carly sighs and Freddie shrugs.

"It's not your fault."

* * *

The words are on the tip of her tongue.

She could just say, "Sam, I'm in love with you." And it would just be out there and Carly wouldn't get that feeling in her stomach every time she thinks the words anymore but that one sentence is heavy and important and she's not sure how Sam would react so Carly keeps it bottled up.

Sam comes home from the tournament victorious and giddy and sparkling and Carly can hardly find a reason for them to go upstairs fast enough.

"What're you doing?" Sam laughs, her voice muffled as Carly straddles her waist and tugs her tee shirt over her head.

"I'm welcoming you home." Carly grins tossing Sam's shirt over her shoulder and frowning at the long sleeved shirt underneath. "You're wearing like a trillion shirts."

"Look who's talking." Sam says plucking at the tee shirt beneath the thin straps of Carly blouse.

"Oh shut up. I'm going for a look." Carly laughs twisting Sam out of the second shirt.

"Hey, I appreciate the enthusiasm but..." Sam begins but Carly cuts her off with a blistering kiss. "…I forgot what I was going to say."

"You appreciate my enthusiasm but…" Carly says helpfully even as Sam leans up to kiss her.

"But, your brother is downstairs and you told him that you needed to show me a new nail polish you just bought so he's probably expecting us back in the next 10minutes." Sam says surprisingly rational and Carly just shrugs.

"Who cares."

"Okay." They kiss again, happy and sloppy until the giddiness fades and things get a bit more serious.

"Wait." Carly exhales brushing her nose lightly over Sam's and the other girl chuckles easily.

"You're the one rounding second." Sam says glancing pointedly at the hand cupping her breast and Carly blushes moving her hand to a safer place.

"Sorry." Carly mumbles while Sam pushes her hair out of the way where it hangs around them like a curtain.

"No problem."

"I just…" Carly trails off sliding her thumb over Sam's bottom lip as she searches for the right words.

Carly says, "I missed you." instead of 'I'm in love with you.' and hopes it carries some of the same sentiment.

"I can tell." Sam laughs softly and Carly beams back, kissing her again.

"So what did you do all weekend?" Sam asks pulling back even as Carly focuses on unzipping her shorts.

"Sam, I'm trying to get you naked." Carly sighs in mock exasperation, grinning when Sam's pants finally open. "Please don't interrupt me."

"Carls, c'mon, what you do?"

"Nothing. My weekend was lame. I did homework and hung out with Freddie."

"Ugh, that does sound lame. Hanging out with Freddie." Sam sighs and Carly pauses, staring down at Sam.

"Freddie told me that you guys have been hanging out together a lot lately."

"I wouldn't say a lot." Sam shrugs with an eye roll.

Carly's not jealous, she's just not. Because even though its Sam and Freddie and they have a history, Sam's with her now.

"So you have been hanging out with him. Why didn't you tell me?" Carly questions and Sam pushes up on her elbows.

"Why's it a big deal? It's just Freddork."

"It's not a big deal, I was just wondering why you didn't tell me." Carly says sliding off of Sam to sit beside her on the bed.

"Uhm…can I put my shirt on for this conversation?" Sam asks sitting up too and Carly gives her a once.

"No, leave it off." Carly smiles a little bit watching Sam fold her legs Indian style beneath her.

"You're objectifying me." Sam pouts but doesn't reach for her shirt.

"So why didn't you tell me, Sam." Carly asks and truthfully she's a little nervous about the answers.

"Because I knew you would react like this over nothing." Sam sighs, fixing her hair.

"React like what?"

"You know, with your whole, 'I'm not jealous even though I obviously am' charade."

"I'm not jealous." Carly scoffs and Sam just raises an eyebrow at her. "Alright, fine. But you and Freddie have a history. Is it so ludicrous to think that I might be a little jealous?" Carly questions and for a moment Sam blinks at her.

"Ludicrous?" Sam asks confused.

" To be utterly ridiculous because of being absurd, incongruous, impractical, or unsuitable." Carly quotes from the dictionary. "And for the record it concerns me that you don't know that word."

"Carls, you know how I feel about you." Sam whispers and yeah, Carly knows that Sam likes her, cares about her, but she doesn't really _know_. "And I'm not gonna go back to Freddie. I hang out with him because I want us to go back to how it use to be before. With me insulting Freddie on things he can't help and you playing peacekeeper and Freddie being a nub. Except you and I kiss more."

"Well I think you're doing too good of a job. He said he wants to ask you out again."

"He told you that?" Sam questions and Carly crosses her feet at the ankles before drawing her legs up to her chin. "What did you do?"

"I told him that I thought you liked someone else." Carly shrugs and Sam smiles.

"That was true."

"Yeah, but everything else I've been saying to him is a lie." Carly says bitterly. "He's my friend and I don't like lying to him."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Sam questions frustrated and Carly peers at her over her knees.

"I dunno, maybe, tell him the truth?" Carly suggest sarcastically while Sam scoots to the edge of the bed and leans over to snag her long sleeved shirt.

"Are you sure that's what you want, Carls." Sam asks over her shoulder but she's the one who seems nervous and reluctant and Carly shuffles closer, fitting herself up against Sam's back, wrapping an arm around Sam's waist and burying her face in her hair.

"I just don't want to lie to Freddie anymore." Carly whispers, tightening her fingers around Sam's when the other girl takes her hand.

"Okay." Sam concedes softly and Carly brushes her hair to the side before mouthing the soft nape of her neck. "Fine."

Sam drops her head forward and sighs gently and that feeling is swelling in her chest again. She wants to just press the words into the soft hair at the nape of Sam's neck and Carly wonders if its selfish to want to say the words mostly to get it off of her chest. So it won't be all she thinks about anymore.

Carly wonders what Sam would do, which is hard because Sam is so random. She could just laugh and ease Carly's nerves or she could flinch and run or anything in between. The risk is too big. So instead of voicing the words, she mouths them against Sam's skin silently before scraping her neck with her teeth because she knows Sam likes that.

"Should I put my shirt back on?" Sam asks, the offending garment crumpled in her hand.

"No, not yet."

* * *

"Did you talk to him?"

Carly frowns as she watches Sam completely demolish her and Carly's hamburgers. "And by the way, I find you really attractive right now?"

"Yeah I did." Sam nods, wiping a smear of mustard from her cheek before smiling widely at Carly. "And thank you."

"Well?" Carly asks impatiently after a long moment of Sam eating.

"He tried to kiss me." Sam says around a mouthful of half masticated beef and bun and Carly has to actively keep her jaw off of the lunch table.

"He what?!" Carly cries and people walking past the table give her a funny look. "What did you say to him?"

"I told him that I just wanted to be friends. That I liked someone else, a lot and that there was no chance of us getting back together .Ever." Sam says nonchalantly even though Carly knows that Sam's making it less of a deal for her sake. She's acting as if it was just a normal conversation and Carly knows it wasn't. " Then he made big nerdy speech about how he wasn't going to give up and then he tried to kiss me."

"But he didn't, right? Kiss you? He just tried?" Carly questions tentatively and Sam swallows slowly.

"Define kiss." Sam says so low that Carly almost misses her words in the buzz of people in the cafeteria.

"Lip to lip contact, Sam." Carly bites out and she's angry, she's livid, and if Spencer didn't find fighting so unlady like she'd hunt down Freddie and give him a piece of her mind.

"Don't be mad, Carly. He doesn't know and besides after he kissed me I locked him in the maintenance closet in your building."

"So maybe we should just tell him about us? Not that you're just seeing somebody but that you and I are together"

"He'll be upset and probably cry and then I'll have to mock him forever."

"It'll be worse if he finds out himself and especially if he keeps kissing you." Carly bites out and Sam smirks a little.

"Look at you all fiery and sassy." Sam comments. "I like that."

"I'm serious Sam." Carly grumbles, digging her thumbnail into the table top.

And she's so angry even though that despite what Sam says she doesn't want to hurt Freddie but its not fair that she has to fight him for Sam when Sam is already her girlfriend.

"But what if…" Sam begins but trails off picking at the bun of her burger reverently and the look on her face scares all of the anger out of Carly. "Maybe you can tell him."

"What?" Carly breathes confused and Sam shrugs, staring down at her food.

"Because I don't think I can." Sam whispers honestly and Carly nods.

"Yeah, I can do that."

* * *

"Carls c'mon."

The music is loud and pounding but Sam's voice is low and eager right up against Carly's ear and even though she's not drinking at this party Carly still feels a little light headed and dizzy huddled in the corner with Sam.

Sam is standing close, not so close as to draw attention from the people around them but so close that she's all Carly can see.

"Sam, you're drunk." Carly whispers and Sam shrugs and curls her index finger in the belt loop of Carly's pants.

"So." Sam grins all flushed skin and bright, glassy eyes and Carly gives her a flustered look.

"_So_, that's the only reason you want to go make out in the bathroom." She hisses glancing around and Sam shakes her head.

Sam shakes her head, "That's not the only reason."

And Carly flushes for what feels like the millionth time but the party is crowded and the air around them is thick and warm and she doubts that anyone would be able to tell since her face is already red.

"Sam, no." Carly whispers just as the red head girl from Sam's team, Kristen, walk up to them.

"Hey ladies." She greets and Sam takes a step back, giving Carly much needed breathing room.

"'Sup Kristen." Sam greets and the other girl lifts two gelatin shots towards them.

"How 'bout a little Jello shot?" Kristen offers with a drunken smirk that's mostly directed at Sam and Carly ignores the knowing twinge in her gut.

"None for me, thanks." Carly says even though Kristen is pretty much ignoring her.

"How about you Puckett?" She asks, "You up for it?"

And because Sam's never one to turn down a challenge she take the blue shot and tosses it back easily while Kristen does the other.

"It's food _and _alcohol." Sam gushes a little and Carly laughs, finding Sam endearing even drunk.

"So you should totally come upstairs with me so I can show you the awesome new cleats I got." Kristen says and Carly frowns, glancing between to girls incredulously and stepping in when it looks like drunk Sam is about to naively agree.'

"Whoa, hey, Sam." Carly interrupts stepping possessively closer to Sam. "I thought you wanted to show me something…"

Carly says and Sam gives her a bewildered look.

"Ya know, far away from Kristen?" Carly elaborates vaguely trying to get something past Sam's perplexed look. "In the bathroom. Remember?"

Then Carly can see the realization dawn on her face like the sun rising. "Okay."

"I'll see you later, Kristen." Sam says with a grin, walking past Kristen who blatantly checks her out and Carly has to keep herself from saying something very rude but she does put her hand low on Sam's waist as she follows her through the throng of people.

Carly's always considered herself a pretty classy girl. She says please and thank you and she always crosses her legs when she sits and she usually doesn't do girls in bathrooms at party's and yet she shouldn't really be surprised that Sam's pretty much destroyed most of her morals. Which isn't a bad thing. Not at all.

"Kristen totally checked you out." Carly breathes pushing Sam against the sink. "Just checked your ass out right in front of me."

"Yeah?" Sam laughs drunkenly and Carly's forehead knits slightly.

"Don't laugh. It's not funny." Carly giggles, sliding her hands to the fly of Sam's jeans. "She invited you upstairs to try and get into your pants."

Sam's hand knocks over an ugly fish shaped toothbrush holder and when Carly inhales, she smells Sam's shampoo and bathroom cleaner but she doesn't stop.

"Good thing you beat her too it." Sam breathes as her pants finally pop open and Carly twists her hand inside of her pants and boy shorts without pretense. "Oh my God."

"I better have." Carly grunts pushing in closer and forcing Sam back and half on top of the sink.

Sam kisses her messily while Carly slides a hand up the back of her shirt, fingering the ridges of her spine as Sam curls forwards, pressing her face into Carly's neck while her hips move with the slow deep rhythm of Carly's hand.

And Carly catches her reflection in the mirror behind the sink. Her hair is mussed and her lipstick is smeared and she shouldn't like the way she looks but she does.

She does.

"Car…Carly." Sam whimpers and the thrill that shoots through Carly when she makes that sound is indescribable.

Then Sam is clinging so tight to her as her whole entire body tightens and strains towards Carly with the most beautiful broken sound.

"Are you okay?" Carly breathes and Sam nods, kissing her hard while Carly pulls her hand reluctantly from that wet, tight, warm place.

"Man, I'm so in love with you." Sam says so softly and Carly's entire person freezes, one hand still up Sam's shirt. And for a moment Carly doesn't know if she accidently said it out loud or if it was Sam.

From the startled look in Sam's eyes, she's just as shocked as Carly by her words.

"Wh-what did you just…" Carly trails off trying to breathe, to pull air in her lungs and hear past the muffled pounding of music through the walls and the buzzing in her own head.

Suddenly there's hammering at the door, loud and angry, and someone yelling that they need to use the bathroom.

"Go away!" Carly screams over her shoulder, never taking her eyes off of Sam who looks nervous and scared. "There's no one in here!"

"I need to pee! Very badly!" The guy on the other side of the door yells again and Carly ignores him.

"Sam?" Carly exhales shakily as Sam pushes her back a little, giving herself room to button her pants. "What did you say?"

Sam lifts one shoulder nervously, "I said man, I'm in love with…juice."

"No you didn't." Carly whispers anxiously as Sam eases by her towards the door.

"Yeah, I did. I could drink juice all day every day for the rest of my life-"

"Sam!" Carly cries, putting a hand on the door before Sam can open it.

The way Sam presses her forehead to the door and wont look at Carly is unnerving.

"Carls, please just let me go." Sam begs like Carly's never heard and she reluctantly removes her weight from the door and watches Sam slip out.


	7. Chapter 7

Carly doesn't bother even trying to call Sam because she knows her and she knows that Sam needs space. She knows that Sam's probably scared and worried because that's how Carly feels, terrified and nervous but she is also excited and thrilled because no matter what Sam claims she said, Carly heard her loud and clear.

She'd said that she was in love with Carly.

So Carly spends the weekend keyed up and anxious to see Sam but she gives the other girl her space though she doubts she could get a hold of her even if she wanted to because Sam is avoiding her and Carly can only hope that Sam figures out that telling someone you're in love with them is a good thing, not a runaway and hide thing.

And Carly's in love with Sam and she refuses to believe that Sam would say that she was if she wasn't, yeah she was drunk but alcohol makes the truth come out.

Carly wakes up alone in bed, the sun streaming through her window on Monday morning and she's eager to find Sam and talk to her but Sam makes it ridiculously easy for her because she's leaning against Carly's car in the parking garage like nothings happened when Carly goes down to leave for school.

Carly's shoes are impossibly loud in the empty garage as she walks towards the other girl, who looks nothing if not casual leaning heavily against the trunk of the car but Carly can almost taste the nervous energy that's coming off of her in waves.

"Hey." Carly greets quietly, shouldering her bag and Sam straitens as she comes closer, toying with the straps on her own back pack.

"Hey." Sam smiles weakly, watching Carly like a hawk as she edges closer and when Sam doesn't run Carly considers it a win.

"Funny seeing you here." Carly sighs trying to ease the tension and Sam gives a soft laugh, her fingers still playing with the nylon straps of her backpack.

"So," Sam begins nervously and Carly can't remember ever seeing her this uneasy. "I think I'm in love with you." She whispers worriedly, her eyes darting up to Carly's and Carly's heart gives an eager jump at her words.

"Yeah?" Carly asks and she's so happy its ridiculous when Sam nods, just once. "I thought you were in love with juice." Carly jokes and Sam chuckles with a shake of her head.

"I'm sorry about that. Well that and the whole sidestepping you thing but I was scared. You're nice to everyone and you're so beautiful and whenever I copy your homework I always get a good grade. You laugh at your own jokes and you basically support my ham habit" Sam blurts and man, Carly loves her so much. "You're my best friend and the greatest person I know." She finishes breathlessly

"I love you too, ya know." Carly exhales through a grin and Sam sighs like she's relieved.

"Yeah, I kinda figured." She says with false bravado and Carly smiles indulgently, stepping fully into her personal space, reaching up to stroke the freckled bridge of her nose. "But for the record, I do love juice."

Carly laughs, "Who doesn't?"

* * *

"You sure no how to treat a girl, Carls." Sam laughs falling backwards into the backseat of the car and Carly scrambles after her with a grin that she couldn't stop even if she wanted to.

"Well, I'm nothing if not debonair." Carly whispers, kneeling over the other girl, knees planted on either side of her slim hips while she lifts her hands in the air as much as possible allowing Sam to fight her out of her tee shirt before tossing it into the front seat and giggling when it catches on the rear view mirror.

"I'll say. Bringing me all the way up to Shrodder's point." Sam breathes in amusement, pressing a kiss to the hollow of Carly's throat quickly. "Many a high schooler was knocked up here. I'm honored but.." Sam laminates before reaching up to brush Carly's dark hair out of her eyes. "Why're we here again?"

"Because Spencer stole my door for his sculpture." Carly explains for the twentieth time, leaning down to kiss Sam and bunch her tee shirt up so she can run her fingers over the hard lines of ribs. "Which isn't usually a problem except we can't do this and I really want to without my brother walking in on us."

"And you couldn't take me to a hotel room or anything?" Sam questions with a laugh, her fingernails tracing the back pockets of Carly's jeans and Carly groans into her hair, hips pressing forward. "I'm not good enough or something."

Carly manages a laugh, maneuvering enough in the restrictive space of the backseat to kiss Sam, slow and open mouthed before pulling away. "No, your definitely good enough." Carly breathes, hunching forward and tucking her face into Sam's neck while the other girl, unhooks and disposes of her bra. "I just want to do you in the backseat."

Sam kisses her throat, the curve of her jaw, her ear while her hands find her breast. "You're nothing but class, Shay." She says and Carly laughs at the sarcasm she manages, kissing Sam deeply before planting her hand on the back of the seat and helping Sam fingers fumble with her jeans then she's settling in her lap again and getting Sam out of her hoodie and shirt.

There's more movement and the car rocks gently before Carly manages to get Sam flat on her back on the narrow seat then Sam is kissing her with the same eagerness that Carly feels surging through her veins.

"I love you." Carly breathes, yanking down Sam's bra and swiping her tongue over the flesh she finds while Sam uses her hands and feet to push Carly's jeans down her legs. And its so weird to say those words aloud but the way Sam looks at her when she says it makes it not so weird at all.

"I love you too." Sam answers, her dark eyes open and honest and Carly leans down to kiss her, hiking up the jean skirt she's wearing.

"Yeah?" She grins and Sam nods, lifting her hips to help the material gather at her waist.

"Oh yeah."

Carly's fingers are just finding the edges of Sam's underwear when there's a sudden banging on the window, followed by a light flooding through the condensation clouded windows.

"Shit." Carly hisses and before she can even think to cover herself Sam is sitting up and shielding her from the cop shining his flashlight through the window.

"Get your clothes on then step out of the vehicle, girls." The cop yells and Carly buries her face in Sam's neck.

She breathes "Shit." again, over and over but its drowned out by the beginnings of Sam's hysterical laughter.

15 minutes later Sam's still laughing a little manically as the cop, Officer Weiner, knocks on the apartment door again.

"Officer is this really necessary?" Carly questions pleadingly, looking upwards at the tall thin man and he nods.

"I can either release you into the care of a guardian or I can take you to jail."

"Aw, can't you just take us to jail already?" Sam laughs a little, full of nerves.

"Sam, stop laughing." Carly hisses straightening her hair and her clothes but she knows its futile because she's sporting a hickey on the base of her throat that her shirt doesn't cover and Sam is standing beside her with her tee shirt on inside out and backwards. "It's not funny."

"It kinda is." Sam chuckles and Carly glares at her as the door swings open and Spencer stands there in only a towel, his loofah in hand.

"Do you know these girls?" Officer Weiner asks and Spencer looks bewildered from a nervous Carly to a amused Sam and back again.

"Yeah. It's my baby sister and her best friend." Spencer answers concernedly, looking at Carly expectantly. "What's this all about Officer…" Spencer leans in to read the mans uniform tag. "Weiner. Huh, that's unfortunate."

"Well I found these two at Shrodder's Point engaging in acts that make it possible for me to arrest them for Public Indecency." The officer informs helpfully and Carly squeezes her eyes shut because Sam is cracking up again and she just came out to her brother in the worst way. "Consider this a warning and by the way I'm very aware of my misfortune." The officer says and then he's walking away.

"So…Public Indecency?" Spencer questions and Carly nods, opening her eyes and he glances between the two girls again. "So you were at Shrodder's point fooling around with boys or…" He trails off and Carly shakes her head.

"Each other." She informs and Spencer nods once even as his loofah clatters to the ground.

"So, I think the three of us should have a talk." Spencer says, voice unnaturally high and Carly nods.

"Yeah, that's probably best."

* * *

Carly's doesn't usually consider herself a catty person and she's way above fighting but that doesn't mean she can't think about scratching peoples eyes out like she is now.

She tries not to look up from her plate as she listens to Sam and Freddie lob insults back and forth because if she does she'll see Freddie with his arm hooked over the back of his chair, staring at Sam beside him with genuine affection while he pokes and prods at her to say something harsh about him, or his mother. And Freddie's Carly's friend and she doesn't want to have to pluck his eyeballs from his skull with her bare fingers.

"Hey?" Sam calls from across the kitchen table because Freddie stole the chair right beside her where Carly usually sits and Carly looks up. "You alright? You haven't eaten any of your Kung Pao chicken." Sam asks curiously and Carly looks down at her plate, pushing her food around with a chopstick before shrugging.

"I'm not feeling well." She breathes and its not a lie, really, because to Carly, the sudden onset of violent tendencies, isn't well. "I think I'm gonna just go lie down upstairs. You can have my chicken, Sam." Carly says with a weak smile that Sam must see right through because she gives Carly a questioningly look even as she leans across the table and dumps Carly's discarded food onto her plate.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Freddie wonders and Carly just nods.

"Yeah. Clean up when your done?"

Carly's only upstairs ten minutes, curled up in bed and just trying to get her self under control when her newly reinstalled door opens and closes softly and then there's the click of the door being locked before Sam is toeing off her sneakers and climbing into bed behind her, spooning close and tucking her face into Carly's dark hair.

It's the middle of the afternoon and sunlight is pouring through the windows and Carly watches dust particles float aimlessly in the streaks of light while reaching back and pulling Sam's arm around her waist.

"You're not allowed up here anymore. Remember what Spencer said?" Carly murmurs, lacing her fingers through the other girls.

Sam just sighs into her hair, "Your brother says a lot of things and besides, you know I'm a rebel."

"Did Freddie go home?" Carly questions quietly and Sam shakes her head so Carly can feel it.

"He's downstairs watching TV. I told him I was coming to go check on you."

"Oh." Carly sighs, looking at their tangled fingers in the light.

"What's wrong, Carls?" Sam whispers, pressing a kiss to the spot just behind Carly's ear and sam sighs. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I want to scratch Freddie's face off." She whispers reluctantly and Sam doesn't laugh and Carly guesses its from the seriousness in her voice.

"Why?" Sam's voice is right up against Carly's ear and she can hear the tightness in her tone and Sam doesn't even know why Carly's upset but she's ready to fight.

"It's stupid." Carly whispers darkly and it is stupid because Carly knows that Sam is her girl. She knows it. But questions still whirl around in her head because Sam liked Freddie and maybe he's the one she wants to be with. Maybe. Maybe.

"Tell me." Sam implores gently and Carly shuts her eyes, the sun bright even behind her eyelids.

"He keeps looking at you all moony and everything." Carly blurts, "He keeps touching you and stuff and trying to put the moves on you but its not his fault because he doesn't know that I'm just sitting there watching him try and flirt with you."

"I'm not flirting with him, though." Sam says softly and Carly nods "And he can bust a move all he wants because there's no way I'm leaving you."

"I know but…It's not you Sam." Carly tries weakly. "I know I said that I would talk to him and I will. I will. But its just hard watching that."

"Okay." Sam says in a tone that makes Carly twist around to face her. "Okay." Sam whispers again, face serious.

"It's okay Sam. I'm just being stupid." Carly says with a smile and Sam traces her lips but doesn't smile back.

"I'll fix it." Sam says and with that she's off the bed and heading out of the door before Carly can do more than call her name.

Oh God.

Carly sits in utter shock for a few irrationally long moments before standing and rushing down the stairs. She's only halfway down when she hears Freddie say "What!?" loudly.

And Carly knows before she even sees them that Sam told him, probably bluntly and without pretense because that's just how she did things and now all hell is breaking loose.

Carly stops at the top of the 1st floor landing and Freddie and Sam both turn to look up at her from where they stand in the middle of the living room.

"You're lying." Freddie yells, turning back to Sam and she frowns.

"I wouldn't lie. Not about this." She answers with so much honesty that Carly can't take her eyes off of her.

Freddie's head whips around quickly, drawing Carly's gaze. "Is she telling the truth?" Carly swallows and before she can speak, he asks again louder. "Tell me this is one of her sick, unfunny jokes, Carly?"

"Hey! I'm hilarious." Sam interjects angrily and Carly tosses her a look before looking back at Freddie.

"Freddie, I'm sorry…" Carly tries, coming down the stairs quickly and Freddie's eyes close in disbelief.

"This is why? This is why you just dumped me? For Carly?" He's yelling at Sam now and she looks like she wants to yell back but she doesn't, she just looks at him with glassy blue eyes and doesn't turn away.

"I love her." Sam whispers and Freddie looks at Carly with so much anger, she's sort of glad that there's a couch separating them.

"How could you do this?" He asks and Carly winces, folding her arms around herself. "I told you how I felt about her. You knew how I felt about her."

"Freddie…" Carly whispers and she feels bad, so bad and guilty and ashamed.

"I told you everything and you just…"

Sam cuts him off quickly, stepping closer to him, hands loose at her sides. "Stop yelling at her! She didn't do anything wrong! She didn't' steal me from you." and Carly doesn't revel in the way Sam standing up for her makes her feel because Freddie isn't looking at Sam. He's looking at her with betrayal in his eyes.

"How could you do this?" He questions and Carly has no idea what to say to him besides apologizing.

"I'm sorry." Carly breathes and Freddie just shakes his head, turning and leaving with a slam and Carly watches Sam step towards the door like she might follow before looking at Carly with raised eyebrows, while Carly wipes a tear from her face.

"Well that went well." Sam groans and Carly glares at her. "What?"

"Why would you do that?" Carl asks, her voice skyrocketing into a nearly deafening pitch and Sam looks taken aback.

"I did it for you." Sam utters, sitting down on the coffee table. "I should've told him a long time ago and besides, I don't ever want you to look like you did upstairs again. Not because of me and not if I can help it."

For as long as Carly has loved Sam she doubts she's ever loved her as much as she does right now.

"I love you." Carly says and Sam gives her a sad smile.

"I love you too." She answers easily, dropping her head into her hands.

* * *

They're not in Carly's bedroom.

Mostly because Spencer told them that Sam wasn't allowed into Carly's room after normal business hours or on holidays during his 'I totally support your relationship' speech and unlike Sam, Carly has an affinity for following rules but her brother hadn't really said anything about the iCarly studio.

"Shh…" Carly can barely hear Sam's gentle shushing over the rushing throb in her ears as she comes crashing down from that tight, soaring, teetering place thanks to Sam's touch. "Shh…" Sam exhales again, easing her hand from between Carly's sticky, shaking thighs and resting her damp fingers on Carly's bare hip. "You're brother's right downstairs."

And Sam's right, Spencer is right downstairs but he's practically dead to the world, his snores audible even on the second floor after being up two days straight working on his newest sculpture.

"It's okay." Carly finally manages, touching Sam's neck before leaning up to kiss her and the way Sam kisses her back makes Carly throb slowly. "He's not waking up anytime soon." She grins but Sam doesn't return the smile, just runs her fingertips over a breast absently.

It's been three days since the blow out with Freddie, three days since he's spoken to either one of them and while Carly is taking it hard, Sam is taking it harder. She's been gloomy and quiet and Carly can't remember Sam ever acting like this.

When Sam leans down to kiss her its slow and deep and serious and Carly knows that means something.

Carly presses back into the bean bag, pulling away and the way Sam is peering down at her, with the blue of her eyes nearly invisible and so somber, makes Carly's stomach flutter.

"Are you okay?" Carly breathes, reaching up and fingering the loose, wild curls of her hair and Sam swallows, eyes darting towards the door quickly.

"Yeah. I've just got a lot going on in my head." Sam sighs quietly and Carly taps her fingertips against the side of her head playfully.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Carly tries and Sam's lips quirk up in the closest thing Carly's seen to a smile on her face in days.

"You don't want to know what's going on up there." Sam whispers. "It's scary."

"You're worried." Carly whispers because she knows Sam and she doesn't need her to say what's wrong to just now. "About the Freddie thing."

"I don't care about that dweeb. He's lucky I didn't knock his block off for yelling at you like that." Sam mutters darkly and Carly just smiles before using her weight to flip Sam onto her back without the both of them falling off of the bean bag.

"Its okay, ya know, to care that Freddie's hurt." Carly says softly and Sam just shrugs the best she can in the softness of the beanbag.

"It's not just that." Sam mutters, "Everything is just so hard."

"I know." Carly sighs touching the soft bare skin of Sam's stomach idly. " But it's worth it. Isn't it?"

Sam smiles now, slow as molasses and just as sweet. "Yeah. Definitely."

Carly leans down and kisses Sam, soft, sweet and chaste and Sam lets her, sinking into the bean bag.

* * *

"Freddie!"

Freddie nearly jumps out of his skin as Carly grabs him as he walks past the girls bathroom before yanking him inside by the collar.

"What're you doing? This is the girls restroom. I can't be in here!" He cries before diving for the door but Carly moves faster putting her weight on the door, before he can get it open. "Man, why're you so strong?"

"Freddie stop." Carly barks, "I need to talk to you."

He doesn't let go of the handle, "Well I don't want to talk to you."

"Then just listen." Carly cries and Freddie angrily lets go of the handle.

"Fine."

Carly swallows, she hadn't intended on grabbing Freddie and dragging him into the bathroom to talk but she'd seen the opportunity and seized it.

"I'm sorry." Carly breathes because that's always a good place to start. "I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you about me and Sam."

"Me too." Freddie grumbles, eyes darting towards the door.

"But how could I? You like Sam so much and I couldn't tell you that I liked her too. That she liked me and neither could Sam."

"Well I wish one of you could've done it. I feel like a fool!" He yells and Carly winces, hand rubbing over her eyes, because he's right. He is.

"I'm sorry, Freddie." Carly whispers again and Freddie leans against the sink while Carly leans into the door.

"I really like Sam." He admits softly and Carly nods.

"Me too."

" Yeah, but she's in love with you."

The grin that pulls across Carly's face is huge and she just says "Yeah"

Freddie shakes his head with a small smile.

"I don't want to loose you as a friend, Freddie." Carly confesses quietly and Freddie scratches his head. "I don't want to have to choose."

"I'm not gonna stop being your friend but its gonna take some getting use to." Freddie sighs and Carly smiles at him a little.

"I can deal with that."


	8. Chapter 8

Its hard , because they don't fit together like they use to. Carly sees Sam and Freddie bouncing off one another like they've never met before. There are giant, earth shattering fights that usually end with one or both of them mad at Carly.

And when they're not fighting things are awkward but Carly bears through it because she just wants them all to fit again.

"What did you get for question number eight?" Freddie asks not looking up from his notes and Carly frowns down at her homework spread out besides Freddie's on the kitchen table.

"I'm not sure yet. Sam?" Carly breathes glancing at Sam beside her, feet kicked up on the table and balancing her chair on the two back legs while she peers down at the open history book in her lap.

"I got, uh, 7." Sam says and Carly squints at her angrily.

"Sam, we're not even doing math!" Freddie cries and Sam looks up guiltily, while Carly shoves her feet off the table causing her chair to slam down on all four legs.

"Hey!" Sam cries and Carly tugs the book out of her hands, a magazine falling from between the pages, on to the tabletop.

"You're not doing homework. You're looking at a stilt catalog!" Carly accuses, forehead creasing in disbelief.

"I can't help it if I find stilts more stimulating than math." Sam defends crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair.

"We're doing history homework." Freddie points out and Sam sticks her tongue out at him.

"Whatever." Sam sighs, her boredom evident in the extremely annoying way she's tapping her fingers on the table and Carly kicks her lightly under the table and she stops with another dramatic sigh. "I'm bored. Lets do something."

Freddie gives her an incredulous look, finger poised over his notebook. "We are doing something."

"Lets do a not suckish something." Sam clarifies slumping in her chair and looking pleadingly at Carly, milking the puppy dog thing for all its worth. "Please?"

"Like what?" Carly sighs, closing her book and Sam's blue eyes light up.

"Groovy Smoothie?" She says hopefully and Freddie leans forward on the table.

"I could go for a Blueberry Blitz." He says and Carly throws him a quick smile.

"Okay, fine. But then we do homework." Carly says sternly and Sam jumps out of her seat.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever, lets go!" She throws over her shoulder while she dances to and out of the door, hair bouncing.

"Maybe I should go home. My mom…" Freddie starts, closing his folder and stuffing it in his bag and Carly cuts him off.

"Wait, you're not coming?" She asks and Freddie swallows, closing his bag.

"I don't want to, like, intrude or anything." He says softly and Carly hates how sad he sounds but before she can say anything Sam is sticking her head back through the door impatiently.

"Carly? C'mon. I'm dying here." Sam groans, leaning into the door jam and Carly stands slowly, glancing at Freddie.

"I'm coming." Carly says, straightening her shirt and heading to the door.

And then Sam says something that makes Carly adore her even more. "Hey Freddork, you coming or what?"

Carly glances at Freddie in time to see him smile and she smiles too. "Yeah, I'm coming."

* * *

"Why didn't you just say so?" Sam's voice is soft and curious while she peers up at Carly, her head resting in the other girls lap.

"Say so?" Carly breathes confused, glancing away from the television screen and down at Sam while she burrows her fingers through soft blond hair.

"When you realized that you liked me? Why didn't you just say so?" She clarifies and Carly smiles a little at the simple question.

"Because you're my best friend." Carly starts and Sam nods thoughtfully. "And you're a soccer star…"

"That is true." Sam interrupts with a proud smile.

"And I was scared." Carly finishes and Sam looks up at her with softening blue eyes. "What about you?"

"I've always felt this way about you, I think." Sam starts. "But I didn't know what it meant so I just ignored it."

"Yeah?"

"I didn't want to loose you." Sam shrugs and Carly really loves this girl.

"I guess we were both just being dumb." She offers and Sam smiles.

"Ya know, if I hadn't just eaten that bag of Spicy Caliente Jalapeño chips, I'd kiss you." Sam offers and Carly grins at her, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You can make it up to me later and also I appreciate your restraint." Carly whispers and Sam laughs just as Freddie walks into the apartment, pausing a little uncomfortably when he sees Sam sprawled over Carly and its just something he does but Carly's noticed that he's trying to get over it.

"What up, Benson?" Sam calls, sitting up and swinging her legs around to right herself on the sofa.

"I just go this new camera." He says holding up the shiny piece of technology and Sam and Carly both oohh and aahh dramatically.

"Cool. What does it do?" Carly wonders, making space for Freddie to drop down between her and Sam and Sam grumbles a little.

"Well its super thin. Got 6 mega pixels…" The sound of Sam's dramatic snores cuts him off and he turns to glare at her.

"Sam." Carly chastises gently and the other girl rolls her eyes.

"Sorry, continue with your geekery." Sam says with a wave of her hand and Freddie crosses his arms.

"Well, now I don't want to."

"Fine by me." Sam sighs, stretching and nearly hitting Freddie in the face. "Lets go get some chicken wings."

"Wait, I have an idea." Carly says excitedly. "Let's take a picture."

"Okay." Freddie shrugs and before Sam can runaway Carly reaches behind Freddie and drags her into the frame where Freddie is holding the camera in an outstretched arm.

"Smile on three." Freddie instructs. "One. Two. Three."

* * *

The End

Well, that's it. Thanks to everyone for all of the reviews and love. You guys are awesome.

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